The Comic History of EnglandÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of England
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Great Britain -- History -- Humor
EDWARD the Second was, in common phraseology, a very nice young man when
he came to the throne, being twenty-three years of age, and tolerably
good-looking, though he turned out eventually, according to one of the
chroniclers of the times, "a very ugly customer." His first step on
coming to the throne was to send for a scamp named Piers Gaveston, a
Gascon youth who was full of gasconade, and had been sent out of England
by the late king as an improper character. Young Edward, who had been
much attached to this early specimen of the gent., recalled Piers
Gaveston, and made him a nobleman by creating him Duke of Cornwall,
but never succeeded in making him a gentleman. This step was in direct
violation of a solemn promise to Edward the First, who had warned his
son against Gaveston, as a bad young man and by no means a desirable
acquaintance for an English sovereign. Directly Piers arrived, he
and his young master began to play all sorts of tricks and, by way
of change, dismissed the Chancellor, the Treasurer, the Barons of the
Exchequer, and all the Judges. The whole of the judicial staff of the
kingdom being thrown out of employ, a panic was created in all the
courts, and some of their lordships, being unable to meet the demands
upon them, were compelled to go to prison. Many were stripped of all
their property by the king, at the instigation of Gaveston, and the
Chancellor not only lost the seals, but nis watch, and a number of other
articles of value. Edward and his friend were determined to pay off
those who had been instrumental to the latter's disgrace, ana among
others, Langton, the Bishop of Lichfield, was put into solitary
confinement, no one being allowed to speak to him, so that the
unfortunate Lichfield found him-self literally sent to Coventry.
Gaveston, who was a dashing young spark, nearly sent England in a blaze
by his return, for he was very far from popular. He could dance and
sing, was passionately fond of bagatelle, and as to wine, when he took
it into his head he could always drink his bottle.
Edward went over to Boulogne, in January, 1308, to get married to
Isabella, the daughter of the king of France, and left Gaveston regent
of the kingdom. His majesty soon got tired of a French watering-place,
and returned to England for his coronation, which took place on the
24th of February, at Westminster. All the honours were showered upon
Gaveston, and instead of giving the perquisites to the proper officers,
the king handed them over, one by one, to the favourite. "Put that in
your pocket, Piers, my boy," exclaimed Edward, as he transferred to his
disreputable friend each article that some officer of state was entitled
to. The English nobility, as they saw everything passing into the hands
of the Gascon, could only murmur to each other, "What a shame!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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