The Comic History of EnglandÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of England
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Great Britain -- History -- Humor
The character of Edward has been generally praised, but we are compelled
to tender a bill of exceptions to the report of previous historians.
He certainly added to his dominions, but if this is a merit, it may
be claimed for any man who, by fraud or violence, increases his own
property at the expense of his neighbours. The improvements effected in
his reign were rather in spite of him than owing to his sense of justice
or his liberality. He had the talent of talking people out of
their money, but this quality he has only shared with many equally
accomplished, but less exalted, swindlers. His attempt to smuggle a
clause into Magna Charta, before the face of the citizens, was an act
calculated to ruin him in the City, where putting one's hand to paper
is a proceeding that must not be trifled with. His treatment of Wallace
proves him to have been a cruel and vindictive enemy; his abandonment of
the poor Earl of Flanders shows that he was an insincere and treacherous
friend: he was constant to his hatreds, and fickle in his likings:
his animosity had the strength of fire, but in him the milk of human
kindness was greatly diluted with water. He made some good laws, such as
the statute of mortmain, which was first passed in his reign, but so far
from there being any truth in the proverb, _necessitas non habet legem_,
it is certain that necessity produced nearly every good law that Edward
gave to his people.
In person, he was a head taller than the ordinary size, with black hair
that curled naturally, and eyes that matched the hair in colour. *
His legs were too long in proportion to his body, which gained him the
nickname of Longshanks, though it would have been more respectful to
have called him Daddy Long-legs, in allusion to his being the father of
his people.
He observed the outward decencies of life, but in this he evinced the
strength of his hypocrisy rather than the extent of his morality. It may
be worthy of remark, that the title of baron, which had hitherto been
common to all gentlemen who held lands of the crown, was in this reign
restricted to those whom the king called to Parliament. ** During the
monarchy of Edward, Roger Bacon lived and died; but as we have already
expressed our antipathy to putting butter upon Bacon, we refrain from
any eulogy upon that illustrious character.
* Rapin, vol. iii., p. 88.
** The last of the Non-Parliamentary barons is the well-
known Baron Nathan of Kennington. He still claims a seat
among the Piers of Gravesend and Rosherrille.
CHAPTER THE THIRD. EDWARD THE SECOND, SURNAMED OF CAERNARVON.
[Illustration: 177]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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