The Comic History of EnglandÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of England
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Great Britain -- History -- Humor
Edward had now to encounter opposition from a new quarter, or rather
from two quarters, for his better half, Isabella, the sister of Charles
le Bel, was now plotting against him. She left him under the pretence
of going to settle some business for him in France, and then refused to
return to him. Some ambassadors volunteered to bring her back, but the
ambassadors never came back themselves, for they had been in league with
the queen, and only wanted an opportunity of joining her.
Their conduct brings to mind the anecdote of a scene that once passed
in the shop of a shoemaker. A stranger had tried on a pair of shoes, and
another stranger had been trying on a pair of boots at the same moment.
Suddenly the shoes decamped without payment, when the boots standing
upon their professed swiftness, offered to go in pursuit of the
unprincipled shoes; and as neither shoes nor boots were ever seen again
by the tradesman, it is probable that the "false fleeting perjured
Clarences" are still being pursued by the immortal Wellingtons. Thus the
Earl of Kent, the king's own brother, the Earl of Richmond, his cousin,
and others, who had undertaken to go after the queen to bring her back,
remained with her, until she returned as an enemy to her own husband.
Edward was now compelled to run away in his turn from his angry wife;
and rather than encounter the fury of a domestic storm, he got into
a ship with young Despencer, to brave the elements. Old Despencer was
taken and hanged, without the ceremony of a trial.
The Prince of Wales was appointed guardian of the kingdom on account of
the absence of his father, who had been regularly advertised, but
had declined to come forward lest he should hear of something to his
disadvantage. Having been tossed about upon the waves for several days,
he came ashore on the coast of Wales, and hid himself for some weeks,
with young Despencer and another, in the mountains of Glamorganshire.
His two companions were one day startled by a cry of "We've got you!"
and were instantly seized, upon which, Edward exclaiming, "It's no use:
you've got the two birds in the hand, and may as well have the one in
the bush," rolled out of a hedge and gave himself up to his pursuers.
Young Despencer was taken to Hereford, and hanged at once, upon a
gallows fifty feet high; but why severity was carried to such a height
is a question we have no means of answering. It has been brutally said
by an annotator that the culprit had been accustomed to the high ropes
during his life, and it was therefore determined that they should
accompany him even to the gibbet.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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