The Comic History of EnglandÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of England
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Great Britain -- History -- Humor
It will be remembered that the Earl of Lancaster had been appointed
guardian of the young king, but no scapegrace in a comedy ever made such
an undutiful ward as the youthful Edward. He remained with his mother
and Mortimer, the latter of whom was particularly distasteful to
Lancaster, who endeavoured to get up a party to oppose the favourite.
This association was joined by the Earls of Kent and Norfolk, two of the
king's uncles, as well as by some other gentlemen, who set forth in
an advertisement the reason of their having combined. The statement of
grievances was drawn up with the usual tact of red-hot patriots, who
always put down a few impossibilities in the list of things to be
achieved, for the impracticability of their objects prevents their trade
from being suddenly brought to a dead stand-still. There were eight
articles in the Lancastrian manifesto, which chiefly aimed at Mortimer
and the queen, who soon persuaded Edward that the real object of the
advertisers was to deprive him of his crown. "I thought you were the
parties pointed at," said the young king to his mother and her paramour;
but the latter merely observing, "My dear fellow, they mean you, as sure
as my name's Mortimer," soon taught Edward to believe that he was the
object of the hostility of the rebellious nobles. Preparations were
being made to chastise them, when Kent and Norfolk abandoned Lancaster,
who justly complained of having been trifled with. The humiliated
and humbugged Lancaster was glad to accept a pardon, and pay down
a considerable sum towards the expenses which had been incurred in
preparing for his own discomfiture. Mortimer did not forgive the parties
who had contemplated his overthrow, but formed a determination to get
hold of them when a good opportunity offered.
He received a number of anonymous letters, informing him that his
brother, the late king, was alive in Corfe Castle. "Pooh, pooh," said
Kent to himself, as he perused the first three or four epistles; "I'm not
quite such a fool as to be taken in upon that point. I'm not going to
believe my brother is alive, when I happen to have been present as chief
mourner at his funeral." Every post, however, brought such a pile of
correspondence upon the subject that he first began to believe that half
of what he was told might possibly be true; and when credulity admits
one half of a story, the other half soon forces an entrance. Kent's
anonymous correspondents, not content with declaring the late king to be
alive, gave the circumstantiality to their statement which is generally
resorted to in the absence of truth, and indicated Corfe Castle as the
place where the second Edward was "hanging out" at that very moment. The
credulous Kent, being in doubt as to the fate of his brother, wrote at
once to ask him whether he was really dead or alive, saying to himself,
as he put the epistle into the post, "There! I've written to him now,
and so we shall soon settle that question one way or the other."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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