The Comic History of EnglandÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of England
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Great Britain -- History -- Humor
Mrs. de Montfort had, according to Froissart, "the courage of a man and
the heart of a lion." In addition to these fascinating qualities she had
the tongue of a true woman. She went about with her child in her arms,
holding forth in a double sense, for she held forth her infant, and was
continually holding forth on the subject of her husband's wrongs to the
populace. A pretty woman, who takes to public speaking, is always sure
of an approving audience; but when she began to give recitations in
character, by putting a steel casque on her head and a sword in her
hand, the effect was truly marvellous. She took a provincial tour, with
the never-failing motto of "Female in Distress" as her watchword; and a
host of young men engaged themselves as assistants under her banner. She
threw herself into a place called Hennebon, where she was besieged by
the French, but she ran up and down the ramparts with all the agility of
a young tigress. She stood firmly among a shower of arrows, and though
danger darted across her every now and then--so much that her casque got
a rapid succession of taps--she merely observed that she had never
been afraid of a living beau and would certainly not shrink from a bow
without vitality. Aid was expected from the English, but as it did not
arrive the Bishop of Leon began to croak most horribly, and proposed to
capitulate. The bishop had been to the larder, and finding provisions
running exceedingly low, declared there was nothing left for them but to
eat humble pie as speedily as possible. He had succeeded in raising an
_émeute d'estomac_ in the garrison, when the countess, who had begged
the troops to hold out a little longer, Saw the English fleet from
the window of her dressing-room. "Here they are!" cried she as she ran
downstairs; and the whole of the inhabitants were soon watching the
arrival of the boats with intense interest. Sir Walter Manny commanded
the squadron, and after a good night's rest and a capital dinner
the next day, which concluded amid a slight shower from the French
battering-ram, he declared that he would not run the risk of having any
more batter pudding from the same quarter. "That ram," he exclaimed,
"must not again disturb me over my mutton;" and he had no sooner dined
than he went forth, followed by a few select soldiers, and broke the
instrument to pieces.
The French, having raised the siege of Hennebon, left Lady de Montfort
leisure to go over to England for the purpose of getting a present of
troops that Edward had promised her. She was returning to France with
her reinforcements when she fell in with a French fleet, and they fell
out as a natural consequence. De Montfort's wife rushed on deck in a
coat of mail over her petticoat of female, and fought with tremendous
vigour.
[Illustration: 199]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account