The Comic History of EnglandÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of England
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Great Britain -- History -- Humor
It is astonishing how easily a scamp who is unfit for any honest
occupation can at once become a friend of the masses. The prisons might
at any time contribute a fresh supply, when the stock of lovers of
liberty on hand may seem to be diminishing. Rapine and murder were
pursued with impunity for some time, the Government leaving matters to
take their chance; until a formal demand having been made by the mob for
the heads of the Chancellor and Treasurer, it was thought high time to
effect a compromise. A proclamation was issued announcing the king's
intention to be at Mile End by a certain hour, and the people were
politely requested to meet him there. On his reaching the spot where he
intended to talk things over with his subjects, he found sixty thousand
of them assembled; and as they all began talking at once, a little
confusion arose until the appointment of a regular spokesman. At length
the demands of sixty thousand tongues were reduced to four heads, and
to these the king agreed very graciously. The dispute might have ended
mildly at Mile End, but for the violent proceedings of those who kept
away from the meeting. These got into the Tower directly Richard's
back was turned, and the least of their offences was the rudeness they
manifested towards the widow of the Black Prince, who had either dropt
in to tea with the Archbishop and Chancellor or was permanently residing
there. This lady had got the name of the Fair Maid of Kent, a title that
had many local variations, according to the part of the county in
which she was spoken of. Sometimes they called her the Dartford Daisy,
sometimes the Canterbury Belle, sometimes the Greenwich Geranium,
sometimes the Woolwich Wallflower, and occasionally, even the Heme Bay
Hollyoak.
The rioters finding her in the Tower, treated the Fair Maid of Kent with
excessive rudeness, comparing her lips to Kentish cherries, and making
them the subject of the well-known game which is played by what
is termed bobbing at the fruit specified. She was, in fact, nearly
smothered in the Tower with the kisses of the malcontents. Her ladies
were, of course, dreadfully shocked, and their screams of "Mi!" at the
treatment of their mistress were truly terrible. When remonstrated with
on the liberty they were taking, they declared liberty to be the sacred
object they were bent on furthering. The Fair Maid of Kent was at length
dragged away by her attendants, who concealed her in a house called the
royal wardrobe, or perhaps put her into a clothes-cupboard, to keep her
out of the way of the rioters.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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