The Comic History of EnglandÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of England
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Great Britain -- History -- Humor
Ethelbald was succeeded by Ethelbert, whose reign, though it lasted
only five years, may be compared to a rain of cats and dogs, for he
was constantly engaged in quarrelling. The Danes completely sacked and
ransacked Winchester, causing Ethelbert to exclaim, with a melancholy
smile, to one of his courtiers, "This is indeed the bitterest cup of
sack I ever tasted." He died in 866 or 867, and was succeeded by his
brother Ethelred, who found matters arrived at such a pitch, that he
fought nine pitched battles with the Danes in less than a twelvemonth.
He died in the year 871, of severe wounds, and the crown fell from his
head on to that of his younger brother Alfred. The regal diadem was
sadly tarnished when it came to the young king, who resolved that it
should not long continue to lack lacker; and by his glorious deeds
he soon restored the polish that had been rubbed off by repeated
leathering. He had scarcely time to sit down upon the throne when he was
called into the field to fulfil a very particular engagement with the
Danes at Wilton. They were compelled to stipulate for a safe retreat,
and went up to London for the winter, where they so harassed Burrhed the
king of Mercia, in whose dominions London was situated, that the poor
fellow ran down the steps of his throne, left his sceptre in the regal
hall, and, repairing to Rome, finished his days in a cloister.
The Danes still continued the awful business of dyeing and scouring,
for they scoured the country round, and dyed it with the blood of the
inhabitants. Alfred, finding himself in the most terrible straits,
conceived the idea of getting out of the straits by means of ships, of
which he collected a few, and for a time he went on swimmingly.
He taught Britannia her first lesson in ruling the waves, by destroying
the fleet of Guthrum the Dane, who had promised to make his _exit_ from
the kingdom on a previous defeat, but by a disgraceful quibble he had,
instead of making his _exit_, retired to Exeter. From this place he
now retreated, and took up his quarters at Gloucester, while Alfred, it
being now about Christmas time, had repaired to spend the holidays at
Chippenham. It was on Twelfth-night, which the Saxons were celebrating
no doubt with cake and wine, when a loud knocking was heard at the gate,
and on some one going to answer the door, Guthrum and his Danes rushed
in with overwhelming celerity. Alfred, who had been probably favouring
the company with a song--for he was fond of minstrelsy--made an
involuntary shake on hearing the news, and ran off, followed by a small
band, in an allegro movement, which almost amounted to a galop.
[Illustration: 050]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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