The Comic History of EnglandÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of England
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Great Britain -- History -- Humor
Constitutional liberty had in previous reigns taken very irregular hops,
skips, and jumps; but, during the reign of Henry, it began taking rapid
strides. During the latter part of his life the tranquillity of his own
country gave him the power to lend out his soldiers to fight the battles
of others; but it never paid him, for though there was a good deal owing
to him, he was unable to get the money. His second son, the Duke of
Clarence, had landed in Normandy with a large army, but finding that
he could not get a penny to pay his troops, he began to insist on a
settlement. He was insultingly told that he was not wanted and might
take his army back again, but he soon brought the people to their senses
by a little prompt pillage. The matter was arranged, and the Duke
of Orleans brought all the ready money he could raise as the first
instalment to the headquarters of the English. It is doubtful whether
the payments were regularly kept up, but every possible precaution was
taken that bail or bills could afford.
Henry's reign was now drawing to a close, and he became exceedingly
sentimental in the latter years of his existence. He had discovered the
hollowness of the human heart, together with its propensity for wearing
a mask, and the keen perception of this perpetual fancy-dress ball of
the finest feelings, rendered him gloomy, solitary, and suspicious. He
was also in a wretched state of health, for nothing agreed with him, and
he agreed with nobody. He became jealous of the popularity of his son,
whom he declared to be everything that was bad, though the after life of
the young man gave the perfect lie to the paternal libel. Many anecdotes
are related of the low freaks of Henry and his companions, who seem to
have been the terror of the police and the people. If we are to believe
all that is said concerning them, we should look upon the Prince
of Wales and his associates as the foes to that great engine of
civilisation the street-door knocker, and the determined enemies to
enlightenment by the agency of public lamps.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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