The Comic History of EnglandÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of England
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Great Britain -- History -- Humor
The anecdote runs as follows: Margaret fled with her son into the
recesses of a forest, like one of those which we see on the stage,
where cut woods, canvas banks, and trees growing downwards from the
sky-boarders, furnish an umbrageous recess of the most sombre character.
We fancy we see her advancing to slow music, laying her child on a
canvas bank, and listening to the rattle of peas accompanied by the
shaking of sheet iron, which form the rain and thunder of theatrical
life, when suddenly a whistle is heard, and two figures enter whose
long black worsted hair, wash-leather gauntlets, drawn broadswords, and
yellow ochre countenances, bespeak that they are robbers of the worst
complexion. The queen has, of course, all her jewels blazing about her,
which the two men proceed to appropriate, and while they are quarrelling
about the division of her booty, she contrives to escape.
This brings us to another part of the same forest, where the scenery is
not quite so elaborate, but where Margaret, leading on her infant son,
stumbles upon a sentimental robber with a drawn sword in his hand, a
tear of sensibility in his eye, and in his mouth a claptrap. She appeals
to his generosity in favour of a "female in distress;" he replies with
some cutting allusions to the "man who--" compares himself to a melon,
or a cocoa-nut, or anything else with a rough exterior, but with some
sweetness or milk of human kindness within, and by way of climax, she
exclaims, "Here, my friend, I commit to your care the safety of the
king's son."
[Illustration: 314]
The honest fellow--by whom we mean, of course, the professional thief
and casual cut-throat--goes down upon one knee in a fit of loyalty,
and according to the scholastic versions of this little incident he is
"recalled to virtue by the flattering confidence reposed in him." * He
went also a step further, and at once devoted himself to the service
of the queen, magnanimously offering to share her fortunes, which
considering the desperate nature of his own, was a proposition equally
indicative of self-love and loyalty. Her majesty accepted the offer, and
embarked for Flanders, of course paying all the expenses of her friend
the sentimental robber, who became the companion of her flight, and a
pensioner on her pocket.
* Sec Pinnock'a edition of Goldsmith's History of England,
p. 143 of the thirty-second edition.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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