The Comic History of EnglandÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of England
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Great Britain -- History -- Humor
Richard also entered into an arrangement with Doctor Shaw, a
popular preacher, who was to preach down, or, as it was then called,
depreachiate the two young princes. The Reverend Doctor then threw a
doubt on their legitimacy, and declared their late father Edward was
not a bit like his reputed father, the Duke of York, and pulling out two
enormous caricatures from under his gown he asked the crowd whether
any likeness could be traced between them. "Instead of the eyes," he
exclaimed, "being as like as two peas, these eyes are not even as like
as two gooseberries!" He then asked his hearers to compare notes by
comparing the noses of the two portraits he held in his hand; ana,
pointing to the picture of Richard, Duke of York, he reminded them
that the bridge of the nose was exactly like that of Richard, Duke of
Gloucester. "There, my friends," he roared, "there is a bridge that I
think there is no possibility of getting over!" The allusion created a
laugh, but no conviction; and the failure was rendered more annoying by
the Protector not arriving in time, as had been previously arranged,
to enable Dr. Shaw to point out the striking likeness. By some mistake
Richard missed the cue for his entrance, and did not come in until the
comparison had passed, when upon Shaw endeavouring to recur to it,
the trick was so obvious that the people only stared at each other, or
passed their right thumbs significantly over their left shoulders. The
Protector vented his disappointment and anger on the preacher, whom he
denounced as an old meddler who did not know what he was talking about,
and Doctor Shaw sneaked off, amid derision, shouts of "Pshaw! Pshaw!"
and the jeers of the populace.
On the following Tuesday Richard got his friend Buckingham to go down to
Guildhall to give him a regular good puff, at a meeting of the citizens.
Buckingham's speech was listened to with a deal of apathy, and there
were numerous cries of "Cut it short," responded to with a faint shout
of "Hear him out," and an occasional ejaculation of "Now then, stupid!"
Buckingham persevered, and at the close of his address somebody threw
up a bonnet, exclaiming "Long live King Richard!" The bonnet belonged
evidently to a person of straw, and excited little more than ridicule.
The speech of Buckingham to the citizens assembled in Guildhall, was
a rare specimen of the eloquence of humbug; and it evidently formed a
model for the discourses sent forth by auctioneers from the rostrum at
a later period, The whole system, indeed, pursued by the Duke of
Buckingham on the memorable occasion of his putting up the claim of
Richard to the suffrages of the bystanders, was evidently in accordance
with that by which bad lots are frequently got off at the highest
prices.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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