The Comic History of EnglandÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of England
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Great Britain -- History -- Humor
push it a little into shape, exclaimed--half mournfully, half
jocularly--"Well, well, to the punishment of the usurper this indenture
witnesseth." The Duke of Norfolk--our old friend the jockey--shared his
master's fate, or rather had a similar fate all to himself, though as he
received the fatal crack, he expressed a wish that he might be allowed
to split the difference.
The fierce and interesting battle we are now speaking of was one of
those short but sharp transactions, which leave their marks no less upon
posterity than upon the heads and helmets of the warriors engaged in the
fearful contest. The great importance of the event deserves something
more than the prosaic narrative in which we have recorded it; and having
sent our boy to the Pierian spring with a pitcher, for the purpose of
getting it filled with the source of inspiration, we proceed to attempt
a poetical account of the Battle of Bos-worth. The celebrated Mr. Thomas
Babington Macaulay has, we acknowledge, kindled our poetic fire, by his
"Lays of Ancient Rome;" and our imagination having been once set in a
blaze it must needs continue to burn, unless, by blowing out our brains,
we put a suicidal extinguisher on the flame. Philosophy, however,
teaches us that "_L'ame est un feu qu'il faut nourrir_" (Voltaire) and
_alere flammam_ is a suggestion so familiar to our youth, that we do not
scruple to throw an entire scuttle of the coals of encouragement upon
the incipient flame of our poetic genius. We know that poetry is often
an idle pursuit, and that he is generally lazy who addicts himself to
the composition of lays, but the Battle of Bosworth Field is an event
which fully deserves to have poetical justice done to it. Following
the example of the illustrious model, whose style we consider it no
humility, but rather an audacity, to imitate, we will suppose the
recital to be made some time after the event has occurred, and we
will imagine some veteran stage manager giving directions for, or
superintending the rehearsal of, a grand dramatic representation of one
of the grandest and--if we may be allowed the privilege of a literary
smasher in coming a word--the dramaticest battles in English history.
"Ho! trumpets, sound a note or two!
Ho! prompter, clear the stage!
A chord, there, in the orchestra:
The battle we must wage.
Your gallant supers marshal out--
Yes, I must see them all;
The rather lean, the very stout,
The under-sized, the tall:
The Yorkites in the centre,
Lancastrians in the rear,
Not yet the staff must enter--
The stage, I charge ye, clear
Those warriors in the green-room
Must have an extra drill;
Where's Richard's gilt-tipp'd baton?
They charged it in the bill.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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