The Comic History of EnglandÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of England
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Great Britain -- History -- Humor
He says the valiant king "enacts
More wonders than a man; "
In fact, is doing what he can't,
Instead of what he can.
That all on foot the tyrant fights,
Seeks Bichmond, and will follow him
Into the very "throat of Death"--
No wonder Death should swallow him!
Now meeting on a sudden,
Each going the opposite way,
Richard and Richmond both advance,
Their valour to display.
Says Richard, "Now for one of us,
Or both, the time is come."
Says Bichmond, "Till I've settled this,
By Jove, I won't go home."
One, two, strikes Richard with his foil,
When Richmond, getting fierce,
Repeats three, four, and on they go,
With parry, quatre, and tierce.
Till suddenly the tyrant
Is brought unto a stand;
His weapon snaps itself in twain,
The hilt is in his hand.
The gen'rous Richmond turns aside,
Till someone at the wing
Another weapon to the foe
Good-naturedly doth fling.
Richard advances with a rush;
Richmond in turn retires;
Their weapons, every time they meet,
Flash with electric fires.
Posterity, that occupies
Box, gallery, and pit,
Applauds the pair alternately,
As each one makes a hit.
Now "Bravo, Richmond!" is the cry,
Till Richard plants a blow
With good effect, when to his side
Round the spectators go.
As fickle still as when at first,
The nation, undecided,
Was 'twixt the Roses White and Red
Alternately divided,
So does the modern audience
Incline, with favour strongest,
To him who in the contest seems
Likely to last the longest.
Then harsher sounds the trumpet,
And deeper rolls the drum,
Till both have had enough of it,
When Richard must succumb.
Flatly he falls upon the ground,
Declaring, when he's down,
He envies Bichmond nothing else,
Except the vast renown
Which he has certainly acquired
By being made to yield
Himself, that had been hitherto
The master of the field.
And then the soldiers, who have stood
Some distance from the fray,
Bush in to take their portion of
The glory of the day.
And men with banners in their hands,
At eighteen-pence a night,
Some with red roses on the flags,
And some with roses white,
By shaking them together,
The colours gently blend,
And the Battle of the Roses
Is for ever at an end.
[Illustration: 347]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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