The Comic History of EnglandÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of England
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Great Britain -- History -- Humor
Henry's new project was to get up his popularity by a tour in the
provinces. Happening to put up at Lincoln, he heard that Lord Lovel,
with Humphrey and Thomas Stafford "had gone with dangerous intentions no
man knew whither." They had much better have remained where they were;
for Lord Lovel, after collecting a large body of insurgents, found
himself quite unable to pay their wages, and at once disbanded them. He
flew into Flanders; but the two Staffords were taken in the very act of
concocting an insurrection, for which Humphrey, the elder, was hanged,
while Thomas, on account of his youth, was pardoned.
Henry arrived on the 26th of April, 1486, at York, where Richard the
Third, though killed on Bosworth Field, was still living in some of
the people's memories. The marking-ink, in which the tyrant's name was
written on their hearts, being by no means indelible, Henry determined
to sponge it out as quickly as possible. He tried soft soap upon some
and golden ointment upon others; both of which specifics had so much
effect that in less than a month the city rang with cries of "Long live
King Henry!"
On the 20th of September, the Court newsman of the day announced the
interesting fact that the happiness of the king's domestic circle had
been increased by the birth of a son; or, rather, the royal circle had
been turned into a triangle by the arrival of an infant heir, who was
named Arthur.
We must now request the reader to throw the luggage of his imagination
on board the boat, and accompany us to Ireland, where, on landing, we
will introduce him, ideally, to a priest and a boy who have just arrived
in Dublin. The priest describes his young charge as Edward Plantagenet,
Earl of Warwick, which will astonish us not a little, inasmuch as our
friend, the reader, will remember that we left the little fellow not
long ago a close prisoner in the Tower. How he got out is the question
which we first ask ourselves, which we answer by intimating, that he did
not get out at all, but he was only "a boy dressed up" to represent the
young earl, and he played his part so well that many believed his story
to be genuine. He had studied the character he represented, and had got
by heart all the adventures of the young prince, together with a fund
of anecdote that appeared quite inexhaustible. The juvenile impostor
scarcely spoke a sentence that did not begin with "When I was a prisoner
in the Tower," which made everyone believe that he had really been an
inmate of that gloomy jail; and the trick succeeded to a miracle.
The urchin was proclaimed as Edward the Sixth, King of England and
France and Lord of Ireland; for such was the credulity of the Hibernians
that they believed every word of the tale that had been told to them.
[Illustration: 360]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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