The Comic History of EnglandÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of England
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Great Britain -- History -- Humor
On the 2nd of February, 1141, the king was besieging Lincoln when the
whole of his cavalry wheeled round to the side of the enemy. Relying on
his infantry, he put himself at their head, but treachery was on foot as
well as on horseback. He nevertheless fought desperately, breaking
his sword and battle-axe over the backs of his foes, till he was left
fighting with the hilt of one weapon and the handle of the other.
Having lost the use of his arms, he was surrounded by the enemy, but he
continued alive and kicking till the last, when he was taken prisoner.
He was cruelly thrown into a dungeon at Bristol, and in order that his
muscular activity might be checked, he was loaded with irons. He still
retained his cheerfulness, and may probably have been the original
composer of the celebrated "hornpipe in fetters," which is occasionally
danced by dramatic prisoners.
[Illustration: 109]
Matilda now scraped together all the money she could, to purchase that
very marketable commodity, the allegiance of the Norman nobles and
prelates. Among the latter was Stephen's own brother, the Bishop of
Winchester, who renounced his unfortunate relative, swore fidelity to
Matilda, cursed all her enemies, and, as the price of all this swearing
and cursing, received a large amount of church patronage. Not only did
he crown his new mistress at Winchester, but he crowned his own baseness
by a slashing speech against his own brother, winding up with a fulsome
puff for the new queen, whom he hailed as "the sovereign lady of England
and Normandy." Matilda was by no means successful in handling the
sceptre, which required a stronger arm and more dexterity than she was
mistress of. The Londoners, in particular, showed symptoms of revolt,
and the Bishop of Winchester having got all he could from the queen,
turned round once more in favour of his brother. This episcopal
roundabout was the first to set the example, so frequently followed
in the present day, of blocking up the city; and it is an odd fact that
paving was his pretext, for he stopped up the London thoroughfares in
order to pave the way for the return of his brother to power.
[Illustration: 110]
Matilda, who was in town--probably for the season--contrived to make her
escape by the western suburb, with a small retinue. Some of her knights
quitted her at the bridge which still retains their name; an earl or two
followed her as far as Earl's Court; some turned off at Turaham Green;
but by the time she had reached the little Wick of Chis, her party had
dwindled down into absolute insignificance. Her brother Robert was taken
prisoner, and Stephen being also in captivity, the two parties were
brought to a deadlock for want of leaders. By negotiating a sort of
Bill of Exchange, Robert was released, and Stephen was paid over, in the
shape of "value received," to his own party.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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