The Comic History of EnglandÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of England
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Great Britain -- History -- Humor
The Bishop of Winchester, who appears to have been an exceedingly
plausible mob orator, now made another speech, in which he showed a
wonderful amount of face by regularly turning his back upon himself, and
unsaying all that he had said in favour of Maud, and against his brother
on a former occasion. He swore and cursed as before, merely altering
the name of the objects of his oaths and execrations, for he now swore
allegiance to his brother instead of to Maud, and cursed the former's,
instead of the latter's enemies.
Stephen was accordingly raised, by the crane of circumstances, from the
depth of his dungeon, and lifted on to his throne; but he found a new
rival in the person of Matilda's son, Prince Henry, so that he had now
a woman and a boy, instead of a mere woman to fight against. Henry, in
a spirit of calculation far beyond his years, married Eleanor, the
divorced wife of Louis the Seventh; but it was only for the sake of her
money, which he expended in getting together an army for an attack upon
England. The opposing forces met, but having already received their pay,
they evinced a disposition to shirk their duty, and--like gentlemen of
the bar, who having got their fees, propose that the matter should be
referred to arbitration--the soldiers of Stephen and Henry recommended a
quiet compromise.
Theobald, Archbishop of Canterbury, and Stephen, Bishop of Winchester,
were appointed referees, and it was agreed that Stephen should wear
the crown with remainder over to Henry. A good deal of homage was
interchanged, for Henry swore fealty to Stephen, and the son of the
latter swore ditto to Henry. The king in fact cut off his own tail for
the benefit of his former enemy, and Henry took a kind of _post obit_
as a consideration for his not pressing his claims to abbots, also
exchanged affidavits, and swore in direct opposition to what they had
sworn before, making altogether a mass of perjury that would have kept
the Central Criminal Court occupied for half-a-dozen entire sessions.
Stephen, however, died at Dover, on the 25th of October, 1154, so that
he did not live long under the new arrangement.
The historian often finds himself awkwardly situated when called upon
to give a character to a king, and there being a natural objection to
written characters, the difficulty is greater on that account. It maybe
said for Stephen, that he was sober and industrious, tolerably
honest, not addicted to gluttony, or given to drink like many of his
predecessors, and of course, therefore not so much accustomed to wait
at table. He had a pleasing manner, and a good address, except while
confined in prison, when his address was none of the pleasantest. On the
whole, when we look at him as the paid servant of the public, we think
him ill adapted for a steward, since England was always in confusion
while under his care; and as a coachman he was even worse, for he was
quite unfitted to hold the reins of power.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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