The Comic History of EnglandÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of England
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Great Britain -- History -- Humor
CHAPTER THE FIFTH. HENRY THE SECOND, SURNAMED PLANTAGENET.
[Illustration: 111]
HENRY, who was amusing himself with besieging a castle in Normandy
when he heard of Stephen's death, soon repaired to England with his
middle-aged wife, Eleanor. They were crowned on the 19th of December,
1154; but he had no sooner got the crown on his head, than he went
to business, and commenced a series of sweeping reforms. Finding the
coinage reduced to a state of almost unutterable baseness, he issued a
good supply of new money, and thus gave a fearful smash to the smashers.
He drove out a quantity of foreign scamps, who had been made earls and
barons in the reign of Stephen. After having enjoyed the fee-simple
of castles and estates, they were sent back to take possession of the
plough in tail, and to till as serfs the earth's surface. Finding the
royal income very much reduced, Henry restored it by taking back what
his predecessors had given away; an operation he performed with so much
impartiality, that he deprived his friends and his foes indiscriminately
of all their possessions.
[Illustration: 113]
The policy of Henry the Second, on coming to the throne, seems to have
differed from that of most of his predecessors; for while they had
usually bought the allegiance of all the knaves and rogues about the
court, he preferred the less costly process of rendering them perfectly
powerless. He demolished many of the castles which had been erected by
the barons, as fences rather than defences, for they were little better
than receptacles for stolen property. Nor was he less vigorous in his
measures against the clergy, for, like a skilful chess-player, he felt
that it is better for the king that the bishops and the castles should
be got out of the way when they are likely to prove troublesome. So far,
therefore, from encouraging the exactions of the priesthood, he seems to
have kept a supply of industrious fleas, for the purpose of putting
one now and then into the ear of such of the clergy as came to make
unreasonable requests to him. It is said that, on one occasion, the
prior and monks of St. Swithin's threw themselves prostrate before the
king imploring his protection against the Bishop of Winchester, who had
cut off three meals a day from the ravenous fraternity. Henry perceiving
that the monks were in tolerable condition, inquired how many meals were
still left to them. "Only ten!" roared the prior, in recitative, while
the rest of the party took up the words in dismal chorus.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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