The Comic History of EnglandÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of England
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Great Britain -- History -- Humor
After talking the matter over for some time without any arrangement
being come to, Strongbow cut the matter short by exclaiming, "I'll tell
you what it is. If I'm to fight for your kingdom, I must have it myself
when you have done with it. You must make me your heir, and, as a
security that you will perform your part of the agreement, I must marry
your daughter." Dermot, though rather taken aback by this proposal,
invited Strongbow to a quiet chop, over which the latter's terms were
acceded to; and the ruined baron, feeling that it was "neck or nothing"
with him, succeeded in making it "neck" by the ardour with which he
entered into the contest. Though he set to work in the spring of the
year, his vengeance was truly summary, and in a few months he had
restored everything to Dermot, who happened conveniently to die, and
Strongbow came in for all that he had been fighting for.
Henry having become jealous, Strongbow thought it good policy not to
overshoot the mark, and came to England to offer allegiance. The king at
first refused to see him, and on calling at Newnham, in Gloucestershire,
where Henry was staying, he was kept for some time eating humble-pie
in the passage with the hall-porter. Strongbow having been sufficiently
bent by this treatment, was at length asked to step up, and it was
arranged that he should accompany the king to Ireland, surrender his
possessions, and consent to hold them as the vassal of the English
sovereign.
On his return to England, Henry, who had four sons, began to find "the
boys" exceedingly troublesome. Their mother, once the middleaged, but
now the ancient Eleanor, had grown cross as well as venerable; and being
exceedingly jealous of her husband, encouraged his own sons to worry
him. Her jealousy had become a perfect nuisance; and jealousy is
unfortunately one of those nuisances which never get abated.
A story is told of a certain Fair Rosamond; and, though there is no
doubt of its being a story from beginning to end, it is impossible to
pass it over in an English History. Henry, it is alleged, was enamoured
of a certain Miss Clifford--if she can be called a certain Miss
Clifford, who was really a very doubtful character. She had been the
daughter of a baron on the banks of the Wye, when, without a why or
a wherefore, the king took her away, and transplanted the Flower of
Hereford, as she well deserved to be called, to the Bower of Woodstock.
In this Bower he constructed a labyrinth, something like the maze at
Rosherville; and as there was no man stationed on an elevation in the
centre to direct the sovereign with a pole which way to go, nor exclaim,
"Right, if you please!"
"Straight on!"
"You're right now, sir!"
"Left!"
"Right again!" etc. etc., his majesty had adopted the plan of dragging
one of Rosamond's reels of silk along with him when he left the spot, so
that it formed a guide to him on his way back again.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account