The Comic History of EnglandÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of England
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Great Britain -- History -- Humor
This tale of the silk is indeed a most precious piece of entanglement;
but it was perhaps necessary for the winding up of the story. While we
cannot receive it as part of the thread of history, we accept it as
a means of accounting for Eleanor having got a clue to the retreat of
Rosamond.
The queen, hearing of the silk, resolved naturally enough to unravel
it. She accordingly started for Woodstock one afternoon, and, suspecting
something wrong, took a large bowl of poison in one hand, and a stout
dagger in the other. Having found Fair Rosamond, she held the poignard
to the heart, and the bowl to the lips of that unfortunate young person,
who, it is said, preferred the black draught to the steel medicine.
[Illustration; 117]
That such a person as Fair Rosamond existed is perfectly true, for she
was buried at Godstow, near Oxford. The sensitive heart, which is ever
anxious to inundate the page of sorrow with a regular Niagara of tears,
is however earnestly requested to turn off the rising supply from the
main of pity, for it is agreed on all hands that the death of Rosamond
was perfectly natural. It has been convenient for the ro-mancists to cut
short her existence by drowning it in the bowl; but truth compels us to
add, that there is no ground for such a conclusion.
Henry devoted the remainder of his life to quarrelling, first with one
of his children, then the other, and every now and then with all of
them. He fully intended to divide his possessions among them; but they
most unreasonably required to be let into possession before the death
of the governor. The eldest ran away to France, and Eleanor had actually
put on male attire, with the intention of abandoning Henry, when,
unfortunately for him, he was silly enough to have her imprisoned
for the purpose of stopping her. "Why didn't you let her go?" was
the frequent exclamation of his intimate friends to the king, and a
melancholy "Ha! I wish I had," was the only reply he was able to make
them.
Finding himself threatened on all sides, and when he had exhausted every
other expedient, he resolved on trying what penitence could do for
him. His conscience no doubt often reminded him of the murder of poor
à Becket, to whose shrine the king determined on making a pilgrimage.
Purchasing some split peas, he put about a pint in each of his
stockings, and started for Canterbury, where he threw himself madly upon
à Becket's tomb, sobbing, yelling and shrieking in the most pitiable
manner. Nor was this enough, for he threw off his robe, and insisted
on receiving the lash from about eighty ecclesiastics. Though they
administered the punishment so lightly that the cat caused only a few
scratches, the peculiar circumstances attending it cause it to stand out
in history as _par excellence_ "the great flogging case."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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