The Comic History of EnglandÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of England
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Great Britain -- History -- Humor
The coronation of Richard, which took place on the 3rd of September,
1189, was disgraced by an attack upon the Jews, who came to offer
presents, which were eagerly received; but the donors were kicked out of
Westminster Hall with the most ruthless violence. Nearly all the Jews in
London were savagely murdered, all their houses were burnt and all their
property stolen; when Richard issued a proclamation, in which he stated
that he took them under his gracious protection: an act which would
have been more gracious if it had come before instead of after the
extermination of the ill-used Israelites.
How to go to Palestine was, however, the king's sole care; and to raise
the funds for this trip he sold everything he possessed, as well as a
great deal that rightfully belonged to others. He put up towns, castles,
and fortresses to public auction, knocking down not only the property
itself but those also who offered any remonstrance, or put in any claim
to the goods he was disposing of. Such was his determination to clear
off everything without reserve, that he swore he would put up London
itself if he could find a bidder--an assertion that was very likely to
put up the citizens.
Some of the castles he sold two or three times over, leaving the
purchasers to settle among themselves which should be the possessor
of the property that had been paid for by every one of them. It is
not unlikely that he caused glowing advertisements to be prepared, of
"Little Paradises," standing "in their own fortifications;" and that he
would have described a dead wall with a moat before it as "Elysium on a
small scale," entrenched behind its own battlements. There can be little
doubt that he would also have dilated in glowing terms upon the wealth
of the neighbourhood offering unlimited pillage to an enterprising
purchaser.
Richard's presence-chamber was, according to Sir Francis Palgrave, a
regular market-overt, in which prerogatives and bounties were to be
purchased by any one coming with the money to pay for them. We can fancy
a table laid out with a number of patents of nobility, labelled with a
large ticket, announcing, "All these titles at an enormous sacrifice."
We can imagine a row of velvet robes and coronets hanging up under a
placard inscribed "Dukedoms at a considerable reduction;" while we can
contemplate a quantity of knights' helmets lying in the window, marked
at a very low figure, after the manner of the five thousand straw
bonnets offered to the public by some dashing haberdasher at the
commencement of the spring season.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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