The Comic History of EnglandÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of England
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Great Britain -- History -- Humor
Richard even went so far as to announce the stock of vacant bishoprics
as "selling off;" and it is not improbable that he may have caused
tasteful arrangements of mitres and lawn sleeves to be arranged in
different parts of the presence-chamber, to tempt the ambition of
ecclesiastical purchasers. He likewise sold his own good-will for
three thousand marks to his half-brother Geoffrey, who had been elected
Archbishop of York; and wherever there was a penny to be turned, Richard
had the knack of turning it.
Having left the regency in the hands of one Hugh Pudsey, the king
repaired to France to meet Philip, who was to be his companion to
Palestine. Their united forces amounted to a hundred thousand men;
but Richard and Philip did not travel together farther than Lyons, and
indeed it was as well they did not, for they were almost continually
quarrelling. Numerous adventures befel Richard on his way; but the most
awkward was his being dunned by the cardinal bishop of Ostia--where he
had put in to repair--for a debt due to the see of Rome, on account of
bulls and other papal articles.
Cour de Lion, instead of discharging the bill, abused and ill-treated
the applicant, and made the best of his way to Naples, before there
was time for ulterior proceedings. He went thence to Sicily, where his
quarrel with Philip was renewed, and the latter demanded an explanation
of Richard's refusal to marry the princess Aliz, the French king's
sister. Cour de Lion, who had really formed another attachment, excused
himself by blackening the character of the lady to whom he had been
engaged, and her chivalrous brother agreed to take two thousand marks
a year, as a compromise for the breach of promise of marriage which
Richard had committed. "Such," exclaims Hume--and well he may--"were the
heroes of this pious enterprise."
The Princess Aliz or Alice, having been regularly thrown overboard by
the bargain between her own brother ana her late lover, the latter was
at liberty to follow his inclination by marrying Berengaria, daughter
of the king of Navarre, with whom he had had a flirtation as early as
during his residence at Guienne. Taking with him his latest affianced,
he set sail for Palestine; but his ship being cast ashore at Cyprus, and
plundered by the natives, he waited to chastise the people, and imprison
an elderly person named Isaac, who called himself the emperor. He then
ran off with the old man's only daughter, in addition to the princess of
Navarre, whom he had the coolness to marry on the very spot from which
he had seized this new addition to the female part of his establishment.
The only reparation offered to the father was a set of silver fetters to
wear instead of the common iron he had at first been thrown into.
Richard at length arrived in Palestine, and was not long in getting to
work against the forces of Saladin, who, leading forth his battalions,
mounted on their real Jerusalem ponies, proved exceedingly harassing.
[Illustration: 122]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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