The Comic History of RomeÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of Rome
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Rome -- History -- Humor; Wit and humor, Pictorial
At length the augurs were consulted, who, taking a view of the hole,
announced their conviction that the perforation of the earth would
continue, and that, in fact, it would become in time a frightful bore,
if the most precious thing in Rome were not speedily thrown into it.
Upon this, a young guardsman, named Marcus Curtius, fancying there could
be nothing more precious than his precious self, arrayed himself in a
full suit of armour, and went forth, fully determined to show his metal.
Notice was given that at an appointed time a rapid act of horsemanship
would be performed by M. Curtius; and as there is always great
attraction in a feat which puts life in jeopardy, the attendance, at a
performance where death for the man and the courser was a matter of
course, was what we should call numerous and respectable. All the rank
and fashion of Rome occupied the front seats, at a spectacle throwing
every thing else into the shade, and the performer himself into the very
centre of the earth, which was to prove to him a centre of so much
gravity. Having cantered once or twice round the ring, he prepared for
the bold plunge; but his horse having looked before he leaped, began to
plunge in a different direction. Taking another circuit, M. Curtius,
spurred on by ambition, put his spurs into the animal's side, and the
poor brute was hurried into the abyss, though, had there been any way of
backing out, he would have eagerly jumped at it. The equestrian
performance was no sooner over, than the theatre of the exploit was
immediately closed, and a lake arose on the spot, as if to mark the
scene as one that might command a continued overflow. The place got the
name of the Lacus Curtius, in honour of the hero, if such he may be
called; and his fate certainly involved the sacrifice of one of the most
precious articles in Rome, for it would have been impossible to find in
the whole city such a precious simpleton.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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