The Comic History of RomeÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of Rome
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Rome -- History -- Humor; Wit and humor, Pictorial
Though he would not acknowledge himself to be convinced by the arguments
of the philosopher, it is probable that Pyrrhus secretly felt the value
of the advice that had been given him; for his first step was a proposal
to treat; and he even offered a draft by way of preliminary, but the
Roman Consul rejected the proffered measure. The armies accordingly met
on the banks of the Siris, a small river near Heraclea, and Pyrrhus sent
a spy with a spy-glass, to inspect the position of the enemy. The spy
was immediately spied out on the other side, and arrested forthwith, so
that the look-out of the spy appeared utterly deplorable. Having,
however, been shown everything there was to be seen in the Roman camp,
as if he had been a traveller in search of information, instead of a
sneak traversing a hostile area, the spy was sent back with care--right
side upwards, which he scarcely deserved--to his master. This incident
elicited from Pyrrhus the remark, that "the barbarians had an
exceedingly gentlemanly way of conducting a war;" and the next day being
fixed for the battle, he felt that he should have the satisfaction of a
gentleman in going out with them.
The attack was commenced by the Romans; and the Consul, resolving either
to sink or swim, sent a body of cavalry across the river. Pyrrhus,
putting himself at the head of his horse, proceeded to meet the charge,
but he soon perceived that his brilliant armour was rendering him
uncomfortably conspicuous, and he exchanged his dazzling coat of mail
for an old rusty suit worn by his friend Megacles. The latter was
perhaps proud to wear the trappings of royalty, but the emptiness of
false glitter was speedily exemplified, for Megacles being mistaken for
the king, was killed, and the shining armour was carried in triumph to
the enemy's camp before the hollow mockery was discovered.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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