The Comic History of RomeÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of Rome
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Rome -- History -- Humor; Wit and humor, Pictorial
His guardians having failed to kill him by physical force, attempted to
do so by the force of physic, and were continually giving him poisonous
drugs, which, though exceedingly unpleasant, he was not nice enough to
reject, for he had the bad taste to swallow them. They put him through a
course of hen-bane, but he was now no chicken, and had learnt to
neutralise the effects of the bane by a powerful antidote. So admirably
did the latter answer its object, that he could swallow arsenic by the
drachm without a scruple, and his inside was rendered thoroughly
poison-proof, though there is an utter absence of historical proof to
support the statement.
In order to harden himself externally, as well as internally, we are
informed that he would lie at night in the open air; but we do not
believe he was any more hardened by lying than those who make the
statement. He would trust to the chase for a dinner, and he was often
very hard run for a meal, which he sometimes sought by a contest with a
wild beast: and the question then was, whether the latter was to be
cooked, or Mithridates himself done for.
The excitement of an encounter with some ferocious animal furnished the
continual source of a _sauce piquante_ to what he took to eat, which
formed food for his courage as well as for his appetite. He was well
versed in physics, which he was continually imbibing at the hands of his
enemies, and, in accordance with the saying _fas est ab hoste doceri_,
he turned the dosing to good account by studying the power of antidotes.
He became a master of languages, and taught himself; so that he was, in
fact, his own master and his own pupil. His object appears to have been
to save the trouble and expense of diplomatic agents, by qualifying
himself to talk with all foreign ambassadors, and to prevent the chance
of matters being misinterpreted through the mouth of an interpreter.
Those historians who have built up a considerable fabric on
inconsiderable grounds, do not hesitate to add to their fabrications
another story, by describing Mithridates as a giant in growth, and as a
lad so tall that he might have overlooked an ordinary ladder.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account