The Comic History of RomeÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of Rome
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Rome -- History -- Humor; Wit and humor, Pictorial
Several men of consideration, in the most inconsiderate manner, killed
themselves, to avoid the fate which was intended for them by Cinna, and
that still greater sinner, Marius. Q. Lutatius Catulus proceeded to the
temple, and getting into a corner among the statues of the gods, placing
himself opposite Pan, perished by the fumes of charcoal. Merula, the
Flamen of Jupiter, may be said to have snuffed himself out, or
extinguished his own vital spark; for, seating himself in the portico of
the Capitoline, he calmly made preparations for suicide, and took off
his flame-coloured cap, in which it was not lawful for him to expire.
Producing some surgical instruments from his pocket, he sat ruminating
over his case, and taking out a lancet, he showed that he was no longer
in the vein to live, but quite in the vein to die, for he opened an
artery. The tyrant himself took to drinking in his old age, and
frequently rolled about in a state of frenzy, under the impression that
he was commanding an army against Mithridates. He ultimately drove
himself to _delirium tremens_, and he contracted a constant shake of
the hands by his frequent use of cordials. He died after a short
illness, on the 15th of January, B.C. 86, without having devoted himself
to that sober reflection, which would have induced him to repent of his
numerous enormities. Such was the end of a man, whose faults have been
sometimes glossed over with the varnish of flattery, though at the hands
of truth they can only receive an appropriate coat of blacking.
[Illustration: Marius in his Old Age.]
FOOTNOTES:
[69] Some say that Just-in was just-out, on this occasion, for that no
comet appeared at the time stated. See Justin, xxxvii. 2, _et seq._
[70] "De rebus Mithridaticis."
CHAPTER THE TWENTY-SIXTH.
DEATH OF CINNA. RETURN OF SULLA TO ROME. C. PAPIRIUS CARBO. DICTATORSHIP
OF SULLA.
Liberty being now established on a republican basis, by the massacre of
all who had a word to say against the military usurper Cinna, that
individual began the task of consolidating his power. He nominated L.
Valerius Flaccus to the consulship; and those of the aristocracy who
wished for freedom, were free to leave Rome if they did not like living
under a tyrannical government. To speak openly in the forum or the
courts of justice, was prohibited; and the scantiness of the reports
that have come down to us of the events of the times, can be no matter
of surprise, when we consider that the reporters were not permitted to
give an account of actual occurrences.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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