The Comic History of RomeÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of Rome
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Rome -- History -- Humor; Wit and humor, Pictorial
As a kettle of water thrown upon a spoonful of tea, with the intention
of making it go further, produces a weakening effect; so did the
expansion of the Roman line dilute its strength to such a degree, that
the right wing became panic-stricken, and the left catching the
infection, both wings began to fly together. Several of the Romans
plunged into the Tiber, to save their lives, and the dux or general set
the ignominious example. Some lost all self-possession, and fell
helplessly into the possession of the enemy; while others finding their
heads beginning to swim violently on shore, could not obtain the chance
of safety by swimming across the river.
A few only of the soldiers got home in safety, soaked to the skin; and
though there may be something ignoble in the picture of a party of Roman
warriors dripping in their wet clothes, we are compelled to follow the
dry threads of history. Those who escaped by means of the friendly tide,
took the sad tidings to Rome, which would now have fallen an easy prey
to the Gauls, had they not remained on the field of battle, uttering
horrid yells, shaking their yellow locks, and intoxicating themselves
with something more potent than the stream cup of success which they had
quaffed so easily. When the bad news reached Rome, the citizens began to
fly apace, and some were startled by their own shadows, as if, like
guilty creatures, they were unable to bear their own reflections. Many
of the patricians ran for safety into the Arx, or topmost part of the
city, which was carrying cowardice to the utmost height; and some who
tried to save their goods as well as their lives, packed their property
in casks with the hope of preserving it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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