The Comic History of RomeÀ Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
History
The Comic History of Rome
À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott
Rome -- History -- Humor; Wit and humor, Pictorial
On the arrival of the Gauls, they found the walls and the inhabitants
completely unmanned, and though nearly every one who remained was
somebody beside himself, the population had, owing to the foolish panic,
been most sensibly diminished. Among those who remained were eighty old
patricians, who had filled in their turns, the chief offices of state,
and who, having sworn to die, took the oaths and their seats in the
Forum. They wore their official robes, occupied their ivory chairs, and
being carefully got up with venerable white beards, they had all the
imposing effect of a _tableau vivant_ upon the Gauls who entered the
Forum. One of the barbarians, attracted by the singularity of the scene,
stroked the beard of the aged Papirius to ascertain if he was real, when
the aged P. having returned the salutation by a smart stroke with his
sceptre, the inquisitive Gaul found his head and the charm broken
together. Though the patricians had, at first, worn the appearance of
mere wax-work, they now began to wax warm, which led to their speedy
dissolution; for the Gauls, falling violently upon them, converted the
whole scene into a chamber of horrors. The eighty senators were slain,
to the immense satisfaction of the Romans themselves, who felt a
conviction that after this alarming sacrifice they were sure of a
triumph. They seemed to look upon the venerable victims as so much old
stock that must be cleared off, and the previously depressed citizens
began to rally with all the renewed vigour of a bankrupt who has just
undergone the operation of an extensive failure. The Gauls invested the
Capitol, but its defenders feeling that no one had a right to invest
that Capitol but themselves, did their utmost to keep it standing in
their own names; and, not even for the sake of ensuring their own lives,
would they agree to an unconditional surrender. The barbarians, finding
nothing better to do, commenced firing the city in several parts,
pulling down the walls and throwing them into the Tiber; a species of
sacking that must have been very injurious to the bed of the river.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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