The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the presentSherwood, John D.
History
The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the present
Sherwood, John D.
United States -- History -- Humor
During the one hundred and forty-seven years of which we speak, sixteen
distinct wars with various Indian tribes or confederacies, averaging one
every nine years, had been carried on at various points, from the
extreme northeast to the farthest southern border. In these wars, formal
expeditions were organized, bodies of troops, large for the populations,
raised, equipped, and sent out amid the sighs of young ladies and the
fears of their mothers, punishing old massacres, and wasting, like
prairie fires, whole districts, and of course kindling other Indian
resentments that swept back over the settlements.
Over nearly all of these combustible war piles it was found that French
oil was poured to make the fire take readily, and French bellows were at
work to blow the savage flames into a disastrous conflagration. Between
these more formidable expeditions were interjected petty skirmishes,
midnight attacks, sorties, and reprisals, as numerous and as little
regarded by the colonists in general as railroad killings or corporation
massacres with us. Guns and swords were as common in farmers’ houses, as
spades and hoes to-day. Arrows to the right, left, and in front of them,
pointed many colonial morals, and adorned many a sad tale of border
life. Bloody Brooks were christened with red water in three different
settlements; and poor, indeed, are the annals of that town—whose records
reach back beyond the half-way mile-stone of the eighteenth century—that
cannot show the garnishments of the bow and arrow. Few, indeed, were the
families of New England that could keep the Passover, commemorative of
exemptions from the terrible visitations of the Indian smiter.
Besides these chronic and almost ceaseless domestic troubles, the great
continental wars—those of 1651 and 1664 between England and Holland, in
1656 between England and Spain, King William’s war from 1688 to 1697,
Queen Anne’s from 1702 to 1713, and that free European fight for the
Austrian succession which closed the half-century, covering in all
twenty-nine years on this side the sea—drew between their mailed hands
the tender Colonies, wrenched their young and growing interests from
them, and hurled their protectors sometimes against the French of Acadia
and New France, sometimes against the ever-hostile Indian tribes. The
patched-up peaces which followed these great wars, and which covered the
European breaches, left the colonial combatants battered and bruised,
ragged in clothes, in debt for expenses, and in mourning for the lost,
with Frenchmen and Indians irritated by the conflict, and goaded into
hot revenges, which even the snows of New France could not cool.
In a word, the entire belt of land northwards and westward of the
plantations was highly volcanic, some peak almost continually in
eruption, while always throughout its whole extent mutterings under the
cindered heat threatened wide-shaking action and crimsoned tidal waves.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account