The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the presentSherwood, John D.
History
The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the present
Sherwood, John D.
United States -- History -- Humor
The animosity between the French and English races in Europe, in 1754,
almost surpasses our belief. For four centuries, from the days of Edward
I. and the black-mailed Prince, who, with their armies, overran France,
almost as numerously, and wrought as violently on her pride and taste as
the irruptions of green-backed Americans to-day, French and English
armies in the field, navies on the sea, wit, caricature, heavy-folioed
bombs, light artillery, pasquinades, and exploding mines of sarcasm and
raillery, not only mounded new graves on either side the Channel, and
gashed ever-reminding physical wounds, but fretted and frayed Saxon
self-complacency and Gallic egotism. Cressy, in 1346; Agincourt, in
1415; the battle of the Spurs, in 1513; the war in aid of the Huguenots,
in 1627; Blenheim and Malplaquet, in 1706 and 1709,—planted bitter
memories that waved continually in vigorous harvests of rancorous
hatred. Jealous rivals stood by to remind each of her supposed
disgraces, and thus to profit by new quarrels. Commercial competition
rubbed salt water into the raw places. Differences of religious faith
chafed them with brimstone. Squibs, tossed backwards and forwards, lit
on inflamed parts, and raised national sores. Spanish-fly several times
drew angry blisters, and proud flesh often set in around the edges.
Plasters were of course put on by diplomatic surgeons; but the trouble
was deeper than their patches could reach. The knife and steel scissors
were then brought in again, and the national vivisections began anew.
These surgical operations were almost constantly going on, and their
description in Hume, Robertson, and other historians, might be
appropriately called Memoirs of Celebrated Cases in Surgery.
It must be remembered that, at the period to which we are drawing the
reader’s attention, railroads and swift steamers had not yet ironed out
the stiff mastiff-like ruffles around the necks of these high-spirited,
full-blooded nations. International expositions had not spread their
cloths over the Field of Gold, on which rapiers should only be used to
cut English roast beef and French pudding, and helmets be turned up into
drinking-cups, to quaff, in cool Bordeaux, toasts to the _entente
cordial_ of solid peace. On the contrary, at the middle of the
eighteenth century the mutual hatred of the two nations saturated
everything. National drinks, popular on one side of the twenty-mile
strait which parted the imbibers, were poisons on the other. Clothes,
worn by one race, were not only shunned, but caricatured with pen and
pencil by the other. The paintings, the plastic arts, the literature,
and legislation of the period have preserved in enduring forms the
widely felt antipathy. Their mutual rancor dissolved the obligations of
courtesy, dripped through diplomatic despatches, and left the green
mould of jealousy on all the relations of the two governments, and even
the business transactions of their people.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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