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The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the presentSherwood, John D.

History

The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the present

Name: The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the present
Author: Sherwood, John D.

Sherwood, John D.

United States -- History -- Humor

The different Opening of 1780 for those who pushed and
          those who obstructed the Revolutionary Wheel.—The Strain
          on both Sides.—Hard Spring in Charleston in consequence
          of Leaden Hail-Storms.—How these Storms spread; and how
          the Crops were saved from Ruin by Marion, Sumter, and
          Pickens.—The Carolina Game Cock, and his sharp Spurs in
          the Sides of Cornwallis and Tarleton.—Gates broken down,
          and the Presidency lost at Camden.—Greene set up in his
          Place, proving a good standing Color.—The Village of St.
          Louis assailed.—André humiliates himself, and is
          Exalted.—Arnold gets $50,000, a Brigadier’s Commission,
          and is elected by General Contempt into the Order of
          Judas Iscariot.—New-Year’s Day among the Pennsylvania
          Troops at Morristown.—The United States Treasury, made
          less Celestial, becomes Defiled by filthy Lucre.—The
          Goring and Tossing of Tarleton by Morgan at the
          Cow-Pens.—An Irish-like Fight at Eutaw Springs.—Southern
          Hunters around the British Flock at Charleston and
          Savannah.—The troublesome Seizure of Virginia
          Assemblymen.—How the Captors missed burning their
          Fingers with Jefferson’s red Hair.—Cornwallis enmeshed
          at Yorktown.—What Lord North said.—What the English
          George threatened and what the American George did.—“Let
          there be Peace”; and Peace was.—What England lost and
          America gained.—The kind of Grist obtained.


 V.     HOW A POOR CONSTITUTION BROKE DOWN                           305

        Every Community has its Axis of Growth.—That of the
          Confederation described.—Causes of the Distrust of
          Federated Power.—How the States preferred to sew up the
          Treasury Pocket rather than allow their own Agents to
          put their Hands in it for necessary Funds.—Facetious
          Bills of Exchange.—The Shady and Sunny Side of
          Power.—Similarities and Dissimilarities of the
          States.—The Committee to draft Confederation Sixteen
          Months over the Cold Nest.—The curious Knot-ty Grub that
          issued.—The Spawn of Doubt put to the Nurse of
          Jealousy.—How it was nursed, starved, and doctored; and
          what a poor Constitution it got. The Confederate Scheme
          like a Pine Board.—It could not raise Money, An Army,
          Credit, Postage, Revenue: in fact, could not raise
          itself.—The Comic Side of the Franking Privilege.—A
          desirable Prohibition.—How the Grub became a
          Caterpillar, and the Caterpillar a Butterfly.—A very
          Larky Phœnix rises, crowing Yankee Doodle.

                             --------------

                              BOOK FOURTH.

                           THE UNITED STATES.


 I.     THE FEDERAL CONSTITUTION. 1777–1787.                         313

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The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the present

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