The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the presentSherwood, John D.
History
The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the present
Sherwood, John D.
United States -- History -- Humor
Long time have we been climbing together up the political eminence,
until we have at last reached its high summit,—the Fourth of July. Cold
and bleak was the weather, and wholly new and uncleared the path on
which we set out, thousands of years ago, among the hitherto unknown,
pre-Columbian regions of America. The way was beset with
obstructions,—heaps of coal and fossil remains,—and strewn with bones of
races, human and animal, as strange even to our museums as they were
novel to ourselves. Among these freshly discovered relics of our great
ancestors, we trode carefully, and lingered with pleased wonder among
ruins, which shamed by their age and size the usurping glories of
Egyptian, Chinese, and Assyrian antiquities. At last, however, having
traversed those broad plains, over which hung the gray, uncertain
twilight of chronicle and geological fiction, we emerged, by a sudden
turn in the road, into the clearer light and more solid undebatable
ground rediscovered and retouched by more modern nations; convinced by
our large inspection and survey, that those who landed on our shores
long before Columbus—the Cabots, Cortereals, Verrazannis, Vespuccis,
etc.—had, like provident _patres familias_, packed carefully away large
stores of carbonized fuel and bone manure for the use of those who
should come behind and after them, and had left well-feathered nests for
the more helpless brood which might flock here in times long subsequent
to their own.
Refreshed from the fatigues of this long wandering tramp, we then took a
fresh start 304 years ago from Sainte Augustine, plodded on northwards
forty-eight years to Jamestown, in six years more passed the little
group of Dutch cabins on Manhattan island, and so, trending off
eastward, followed the wavy coast for eight years more, until we brought
up, in 1620, at the newly erected temperance inn at Plymouth, where we
halted, glad even of its scant and unpromising cheer. Very early after
leaving the James, we were accosted by that well-known wag, John Smith,
who turned up in high feather with Pocahontas,—the future mother of
Virginia,—and who keeps turning up and down everywhere in all humors,
moods, and tenses,—active, passive, transitive, and intransitive,—to
suit and amuse every taste.
[Illustration:
A PURITAN BREAKFAST.
(p. 259)
]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account