The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the presentSherwood, John D.
History
The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the present
Sherwood, John D.
United States -- History -- Humor
Just about the time that these French gentlemen, with Baron De Kalb,
touched foot on American soil at Georgetown, South Carolina, an
Englishman named Burgoyne, whose acquaintance we made at Bunker Hill,
two years ago, came on shore at Quebec. Entering the Colonies by that
favorite back-stairs, Lake Champlain, he turned the well-known and
well-worn knob, Ticonderoga, and got himself and his attendants fairly
inside the American door-yard. Advancing, he came to a small place
called Stillwater, where he tripped his toe over a little hillock,
called a breastwork, raised by Kosciusko, aided by that crack rifleman,
Morgan, and pitched forward faint and weak from this unexpected
accident. Still, his English robustness of strength and pluck was such
as to make him quite confident of being able to reach, without
difficulty, the wing of the house, called Albany, and thence gaining
access to its centre, New York, where he expected to meet Sir William
Howe, and with him to succeed in bringing back once more the spirited
young American heiress to the selfish love of her late champion. But
quite to his surprise he discovered before him, near Saratoga Springs,
Gates through which he must pass in order to make any progress,—Gates so
strong that, unless he could force their Polish locks, their American
hinges, and solid, iron-riveted timbers, he must perish for want of
food. The Gates were not passed; and October 17, 1777, he gave himself
up, with 5,791 officers and men, and forty-six hundred muskets.
Forty-two pieces of brass cannon also passed at that time to the
Americans,—brass which gave them thenceforward more confidence and
cheek. Much need, too, of it had they; for in the preceding two months,
Washington, with thirteen thousand men, following Howe and Cornwallis
southward, with a body of eighteen thousand men under their command, met
them a few miles south of Philadelphia, on a little, dispirited stream
called the Brandywine, and there drank the disagreeable dregs of a
defeat, made even more distasteful by the fact that it was the first
American drink which Lafayette and Pulaski had an opportunity of sipping
in this country. Exceedingly nauseated by this drink, they all took
another draught October 4th at Germantown; but this decoction proved
equally unpalatable. It required all the beneficial effects of the
Saratoga water to correct the disturbed action produced by the
Brandywine and the Germantown potion.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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