The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the presentSherwood, John D.
History
The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the present
Sherwood, John D.
United States -- History -- Humor
In April, 1812, our French sister, Louisiana, brought her vivacity,
gayety, and debts into the family. Her high spirits were needed to
stimulate the action, and her sugar to sweeten the waters of strife, now
effectually stirred between America and England, whose bottomless
pretensions had become intolerable. Our public debt had become reduced
to about $45,000,000, and our population augmented to seven and a half
millions. It needed not the witch-hazel rods of the eloquent Clay,
Calhoun, Langdon, Cheves, and others, to dip to and find the mines of
national wealth and national feeling. Both were ready. At last, June 4,
1812, after the lapse of twenty-nine years, we found ourselves in a
second wrestling-match with Great Britain. Our first grapple was near
Detroit, and on the Canadian frontier, where a defeat, under Colonel Van
Horne, and a success, under Colonel Miller, equalized losses and gains,
through July and August. But the base Hull-sale surrender, without a
blow, of Detroit, of an army of two thousand men, and the entire
Territory of Michigan, by its cowardly or treacherous governor, caused
our captain, officers, and entire crew to explode in very indignant
terms. Colonel Lewis Cass, then commanding one of the regiments, snapped
his sword in two pieces, rather than surrender it whole to the British
General Brock. He took such an Anglo-phobia at this time, that the next
fifty years could not cure it.
Fortunately we had better hulls on the water than on the land.
August 19, 1812, Captain Isaac Hull, in the frigate Constitution, fought
the British Guerriere, and after knocking down every mast and spar and
one third of her crew, compelled her to throw up the sponge. The
mourning put on three days before for the loss, by General William Hull,
of Michigan, and the army of the Northwest, was now put off for the
bridal-wreath presented by Captain Isaac Hull to America, on her
marriage to the sea. Like her spouse, the Ocean, the bride hastened to
cast her weeds. The pallor of defeat gave place to the summoned roses of
joy. Upon the crimson flushes the British bees now sought to light and
to extract their carnation.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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