The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the presentSherwood, John D.
History
The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the present
Sherwood, John D.
United States -- History -- Humor
General Taylor, a modest young man of sixty-one, was directed by the
managers to make an advance, with a party clothed in the United States
military dress, to a place on the large floor, chalked out between the
Neuces and Rio Grande, with a hint not to be offensive in his attitudes,
but to look as disagreeable as he chose; and that if anybody, especially
the blanketed Mexicans, who insisted on having that part of the large
ball-room exclusively to themselves, should give him any chance, however
small, to fall foul of them, ball or no ball. When one is desirous of a
quarrel he is not usually, especially at the Southwest, long kept out of
the enjoyment. In April, 1846, General Ampudia and General Taylor
chanced to touch each other, and off went the chip from the American
shoulder. Of course everybody who at the North sold goods to the South,
and every one at the South who possessed a colored brother in
fee-simple, was indignant about the chip, which for the time
conveniently represented American honor.
The national gorge and the price of negroes rose simultaneously. Fifty
thousand men and $10,000,000 were voted by Congress to iron out the
creases made in our flag. Of course the young man of sixty-one soon got
into the adobe-colored tumble which was impatiently expected. May 8,
1846, with the aid of 2,300 men, he tripped up General Arista with 6,000
men, at Palo Alto, and the next day fell violently against him at Resaca
de la Palma. The chopfallen Mustangs, picking up themselves and their
dirtier blankets, made all haste to get out of reach of the
rough-and-ready treatment, and sped across the Rio Grande to Monterey.
But the young man, excited by the jerking mazourka step into which the
dance now broke, grasped his partner, the army, around the waist, and
flung across the opening spaces against the frightened Mustangs at
Monterey. It was a hard shock, and, of course, the sorry-visaged
Mexicans were hurled against the wall.
The floor managers for some reason—some uncharitably thought from envy
at seeing the modest young man attracting so much admiration—took away
his partner, and sent it off with a younger man, General Scott, then
only sixty, to another part of the room. The figures which he cut with
his set of twenty thousand at Vera Cruz, Cerro Gordo, National Bridge,
Churubusco, Contreras, Chapultepec, and city of Mexico, were waltzed
with unflagging energy.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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