The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the presentSherwood, John D.
History
The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the present
Sherwood, John D.
United States -- History -- Humor
We further take it for granted, that children will then be content to be
vivacious; will be left to the witching ways, the pulpy and dewy
freshness of the morning glory of life, until they shall have gradually
come to the ripe maturities of action; that they will not fall from
grace into the condemnation of mischievous notice; will not daily burst
into astonishing feats of memory or attainment before reluctant,
domestic audiences, nor carry on social insurrections against the United
States of their begettors until they have achieved their independence,
nor hold a Fourth of July every day in the year.
Should reform in this direction not take place as just anticipated, then
we shall expect that infantile precocities will be utilized before they
shall have evaporated into the insipidities of manhood and womanhood. At
present, it is well understood, children are anachronisms, sadly out of
place, squandering uselessly their best powers without any corresponding
responsibilities; legally treated as minors, when they are in fact
majors; denied the legal rights to marry until they reach a period when
marriage is tame and idle, and the means to support a wife are
exhausted; prohibited from going to Congress and being Presidents, while
full of original ideas and administrative ability, and allowed to go
when they have oozed away through the leakages of active growths all
capacity, and become just—what we see them at Washington; and wasting in
pantalets the money which, if suffered, they might earn better than the
old heads which are now only figure-heads.
We shall not be surprised to see, if not during Grant’s time, at least
before the century runs out, a constitutional amendment relieving aged
Americans—those, for example, who have attained the ripe, very ripe age
of twenty-one—from the duties and cares of office, and securing to the
public the benefit of young vigorous intellects, varying from twelve to
seventeen years of age.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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