The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the presentSherwood, John D.
History
The comic history of the United States, from a period prior to the discovery of America to times long subsequent to the present
Sherwood, John D.
United States -- History -- Humor
What a splendid necromancer was Cleopatra, dissolving poor Antony, rich
pearls, and the Roman Empire in the drugged cup of her beauty. We see
the Duumvir now in that Alexandrian palace, under her wildering magic.
The air without twinkles with the clash of impatient Roman shields, and
the earnest gleamings of battle-axes, hungry to hew for him a way
through living Romans up to the Capitoline hill; but he, at the feet of
the sorceress, swearing oaths falser than Abigail Williams’s, in Salem
court-house, tosses away from him the round globe of empire as
carelessly as the ragged Egyptian harlequin in the next square flings up
his cup and balls for the passing amusement of the idle crowd.
Then, too, the Maid of Orleans, who subtends such a brilliant Arc in the
annals of France;—but why iterate history, which is but a biographical
dictionary of characters who, by the impact of enthusiasms, genius,
delusive heroism, or passion-working frenzies, have given to others,
individuals, communities, armies, or nations, philters of delirious
patriotism, love-potions, noble discontents under real or fancied
wrongs, which have whirled them on to glory, to sudden graves, to state
coronations, or have lifted them up to Calvaries of glorious
self-sacrifices higher than themselves, and loftier than the ages which
have grown upwards as they gazed?
Delusions, whether in Salem, Chicago, New York, or any other place
afflicted with common councils and their accompanying symptoms,
municipal debts, are as catching as measles, and lead often to eruptions
just as disagreeable. The semiannual frenzies which, year after year,
seize whole communities, men, women, and children, persons tall or
short, fat or lean, blond or brunette, making them rush simultaneously
and with hot celerity to throw away or alter their last six months’
garments, bonnets, hats, or foot-clothings, because Madame Folie in
Good-for-nothing Street, Paris, thinks it for her interest that they
should, and to betake themselves all to other garments, bonnets, hats,
and foot-clothing of another cut and color,—cuts and colors uniform for
all ages, sizes, and complexions,—are quite as unaccountable to people
at a distance, and even to themselves a year after, as the Salem
delusion now, when we take it up in our long historic fingers, and
measure it by the rule of good, cool, common sense. The panics of the
stock exchange, starting out of a rumor in some obscure corner, and
swelling into tense statements and positive beliefs, which grasp even
cool business brains and well-filled purses, and shake both empty on the
winds, find their strange echoes back from the study of wise but
momentarily deluded Cotton Mathers and the disordered judgment-seats of
Salem magistrates.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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