What dire offence have serious fellows found To raise their spleen against the Regent’s spinney? Were charitable boxes handed round, And would not guinea pigs subscribe their guinea? Perchance the Demoiselle refused to moult The feathers in her head--at least till Monday; Or did the elephant unseemly, bolt A tract presented to be read on Sunday-- But what is your opinion, Mrs. Grundy? At whom did Leo struggle to get loose? Who mourns through monkey tricks his damaged clothing? Who has been hiss’d by the Canadian goose? On whom did Llama spit in utter loathing? Some Smithfield saint did jealous feelings tell To keep the Puma out of sight till Monday, Because he played extempore as well As certain wild Itinerants on Sunday-- But what is your opinion, Mrs. Grundy? To me it seems that in the oddest way (Begging the pardon of each rigid Socius) Our would-be keepers of the Sabbath-day Are like the keepers of the brutes ferocious-- As soon the tiger might expect to stalk About the grounds from Saturday till Monday As any harmless man to take a walk, If saints could clap him in a cage on Sunday-- But what is your opinion, Mrs. Grundy? In spite of all hypocrisy can spin, As surely as I am a Christian scion, I cannot think it is a mortal sin-- (Unless he’s loose) to look upon a lion. I really think that one may go, perchance, To see a bear, as guiltless as on Monday-- (That is, provided that he did not dance) Bruin’s no worse than baking on a Sunday-- But what is your opinion, Mrs. Grundy? In spite of all the fanatic compiles, I cannot think the day a bit diviner, Because no children, with forestalling smiles, Throng, happy, to the gates of Eden Minor-- It is not plain, to my poor faith at least, That what we christen “Natural” on Monday, The wondrous History of bird and beast, Can be unnatural because it’s Sunday-- But what is your opinion, Mrs. Grundy? Whereon is sinful fantasy to work? The dove, the wing’d Columbus of man’s haven? The tender love-bird--or the filial stork? The punctual crane--the providential raven? The pelican whose bosom feeds her young? Nay, must we cut from Saturday till Monday That feather’d marvel with a human tongue, Because she does not preach upon a Sunday-- But what is your opinion, Mrs. Grundy? The busy beaver--that sagacious beast! The sheep that owned an Oriental Shepherd-- That desert-ship the camel of the East, The horn’d rhinoceros--the spotted leopard-- The creatures of the Great Creator’s hand Are surely sights for better days than Monday-- The elephant, although he wears no band, Has he no sermon in his trunk for Sunday-- But what is your opinion, Mrs. Grundy?