The Coming of BillWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
The Coming of Bill
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories
Forty-eight hours ago he would have scorned the suggestion that he
coddled himself. He would have produced as evidence to the contrary his
cold baths, his exercises, his bouts with Steve Dingle. To-day he felt
less confidence. For all his baths and boxing, the fact remained that
he had become, at the age of twenty-six, such a slave to habit that a
very trifling deviation from settled routine had been enough to poison
life for him.
Bachelors have these black moments, and it is then that the abstract
wife comes into her own. To Kirk, brooding in the dusk, the figure of
the abstract wife seemed to grow less formidable, the fact that she
might not get on with Hank Jardine of less importance.
The revolutionary thought that life was rather a bore, and would become
more and more of a bore as the years went on, unless he had some one to
share it with, crept into his mind and stayed there.
He shivered. These were unpleasant thoughts, and in his hour of clear
vision he knew whence they came. They were entirely due to the
knowledge that, instead of sitting comfortably at home, he would be
compelled in a few short hours to go out and get dinner at some
restaurant. To such a pass had he come in the twenty-sixth year of his
life.
Once the gods have marked a bachelor down, they give him few chances of
escape. It was when Kirk’s mood was at its blackest, and the figure of
the abstract wife had ceased to be a menace and become a shining angel
of salvation, that Lora Delane Porter, with Ruth Bannister at her side,
rang the studio bell.
Kirk went to the door. He hoped it was a tradesman; he feared it was a
friend. In his present state of mind he had no use for friends. When he
found himself confronting Mrs. Porter he became momentarily incapable
of speech. It had not entered his mind that she would pay him a second
visit. Possibly it was joy that rendered him dumb.
“Good afternoon, Mr. Winfield,” said Mrs. Porter. “I have come to
inquire after the man Pennicut. Ruth, this is Mr. Winfield. Mr.
Winfield, my niece, Miss Bannister.”
And Kirk perceived for the first time that his visitor was not alone.
In the shadow behind her a girl was standing. He stood aside to let
Mrs. Porter pass, and Ruth came into the light.
If there are degrees in speechlessness, Kirk’s aphasia became doubled
and trebled at the sight of her. It seemed to him that he went all to
pieces, as if he had received a violent blow. Curious physical changes
were taking place in him. His legs, which only that morning he had
looked upon as eminently muscular, he now discovered to be composed of
some curiously unstable jelly.
He also perceived—a fact which he had never before suspected—that he
had heart-disease. His lungs, too, were in poor condition; he found it
practically impossible to breathe. The violent trembling fit which
assailed him he attributed to general organic weakness.
He gaped at Ruth.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account