Man, in his true nature, is the gambler, the adventurer, the one who
strays to new fields, who fights, who is more or less reckless, and who
tends, therefore, toward the new and the radical. Men have been our
great pioneers whether along extraverted or introverted lines, whether
in giving us great new ideas or arts, or in exploration, tearing down
and rebuilding, leading peoples to new forms of government, etc.
Woman, on the other hand, in her true nature is cautious, wants to keep
things as they are, looks for safety. A woman who had been radical
in her youth told a friend of mine that getting children made her a
conservative. This was natural. All the womanly qualities of patience,
love, loyalty and devotion are necessary in bringing up children; and
naturally she wants that security and rock of changelessness that
her task may not be broken up. Woman tends, therefore, to be the
conservative. While man rushes out to grasp the new, she safeguards the
heritage of the past.
It is not curious, therefore, that just a few days before the general
strike broke out in England, one of the most radical acts that nation
has known, there was a great parade of women of every rank protesting
against strikes--or, in other words, a demand that the vast problem be
worked out along conservative and safe lines.
However, while these two principles of the masculine and feminine are
mutually opposed, we find on close study that they co-exist in each one
of us. It would seem as if each human being had in him the whole of
human nature, and that whole is not only the qualities of aggression,
of self-assertion, of recklessness and courage, but also the qualities
of tenderness, devotion, patience, etc. Put differently, while the
bodies of man and woman differ from each other sexually, they are
fundamentally the same body; so, too, while a man is more masculine
than a woman, and she more feminine than a man, each has, though in
less degree, the traits of the other.
This is one explanation of how men and women attract each other. A man
who was, say, sixty percent masculine and forty feminine, would be apt
to be attracted by his opposite, a woman sixty percent feminine and
forty masculine. A man extremely feminine would seek a woman extremely
masculine, and so on. And obviously enough, the percentage of either
principle in a man or woman would have some effect on the sexuality. A
more feminine man would lack aggressiveness and assertiveness, and be
more passive; a more masculine woman would want to take the upper hand.
With this understanding of the mixed natures of man and woman we may
better comprehend the art of love.
THE ART OF LOVE
Havelock Ellis, the great English student of sexuality, and a pioneer
in that field, coined the phrase.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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