"Sectile ne tetros porrum tibi spiret odores, Protenus a porro fac mihi cepe vores. Denuo f[oe]torem si vis depellere cepæ, Hoc facile efficient allia mansa tibi. Spiritus at si post etiam gravis allia restat, Aut nihil, aut tantum tollere _merda_ potest." _T. Mori Lucubrationes._ &c., p. 261, edition 1563. G. ] [Footnote 94: Isham 'so smooth.' G.] IN CRASSUM. 37. Crassus his lyes,[95] are not pernicious lyes, But pleasant fictions, hurtfull unto none But to himselfe; for no man counts him wise To tell for truth that which for false is knowne. He sweares that Gaunt is three score miles about, And that the bridge at Paris on the Seyn Is of such thicknesse, length and breadth throughout, That sixe score Arches can it scarce sustaine; He sweares he saw so great a dead man's scull At Canterbury, dig'd out of the ground, That would containe of wheat three bushels full; And that in Kent are twenty yeomen found, Of which the poorest euery yeare dispends, Fiue thousand pounds: these and fiue thousand mo, So oft he hath recited to his friends, That now himselfe perswades himselfe 'tis so. But why doth Crassus tell his lyes so rife, Of Bridges, Townes, and things that haue no life? He is a Lawyer, and doth well espie, That for such lyes an Action will not lye. [Footnote 95: That is, Crassus's lies. G.] IN PHILONEM. 38. Philo the Lawyer[96] and the Fortune-teller; The Schoole-master, the Midwife, and the Bawd, The conjurer, the buyer, and the seller Of painting, which with breathing will be thaw'd, Doth practise Physicke; and his credit growes, As doth the Ballad-singer's auditory,[97] Which hath at Temple-barre his standing chose, And to the vulgar sings an Ale-house story: First stands a Porter; then an Oyster-wife Doth stint her cry, and stay her steps to heare him; Then comes a Cut-purse ready with a[98] knife, And then a Countrey clyent passeth neare him; There stands the Constable, there stands the whore, And, listening[99] to the song, heed[100] not each other; There by the Serjeant stands the debitor,[101] And doth no more mistrust him then his brother: Thus Orpheus to such hearers giueth musick, And Philo to such patients giueth physick. [Footnote 96: Isham 'Gentleman.' G.] [Footnote 97: See our Memorial-Introduction with reference to Wordsworth's splendid filling up of this earlier sketch. G.] [Footnote 98: Isham 'his.' G.] [Footnote 99: Isham 'hearkening.' G.] [Footnote 100: 1st edition and Isham, 'marke.' G.] [Footnote 101: Isham 'debter poore.' G.] IN FUSCUM. 39.