The Shakers is the strangest religious sex I ever met.  I'd hearn tell of 'em and I'd seen 'em, with their broad brim'd hats and long wastid coats; but I'd never cum into immejit contack with 'em, and I'd sot 'em down as lackin intelleck, as I'd never seen 'em to my Show--leastways, if they cum they was disgised in white peple's close, so I didn't know 'em. But in the Spring of 18--, I got swampt in the exterior of New York State, one dark and stormy night, when the winds Blue pityusly, and I was forced to tie up with the Shakers. I was toilin threw the mud, when in the dim vister of the futer I obsarved the gleams of a taller candle.  Tiein a hornet's nest to my off hoss's tail to kinder encourage him, I soon reached the place.  I knockt at the door, which it was opened unto me by a tall, slick-faced, solum lookin individooal, who turn'd out to be a Elder. "Mr. Shaker," sed I, "you see before you a Babe in the woods, so to speak, and he axes shelter of you." "Yay," sed the Shaker, and he led the way into the house, another Shaker bein sent to put my hosses and waggin under kiver. A solum female, lookin sumwhat like a last year's beanpole stuck into a long meal bag, cum in axed me was I athurst and did I hunger? to which I urbanely anserd "a few." She went orf and I endeverd to open a conversashun with the old man. "Elder, I spect?" sed I. "Yay," he said. "Helth's good, I reckon?" "Yay." "What's the wages of a Elder, when he understans his bizness--or do you devote your sarvices gratooitus?" "Yay." "Stormy night, sir." "Yay." "If the storm continners there'll be a mess underfoot, hay?" "Yay." "It's onpleasant when there's a mess underfoot?" "Yay." "If I may be so bold, kind sir, what's the price of that pecooler kind of weskit you wear, incloodin trimmins?" "Yay!" I pawsd a minit, and then, thinkin I'd be faseshus with him and see how that would go, I slapt him on the shoulder, bust into a harty larf, and told him that as a yayer he had no livin ekal. He jumpt up as if Bilin water had bin squirted into his ears, groaned, rolled his eyes up tords the sealin and sed: "You're a man of sin!"  He then walkt out of the room. Jest then the female in the meal bag stuck her hed into the room and statid that refreshments awaited the weary travler, and I sed if it was vittles she ment the weary travler was agreeable, and I follored her into the next room. I sot down to the table and the female in the meal bag pored out sum tea.  She sed nothin, and for five minutes the only live thing in that room was a old wooden clock, which tickt in a subdood and bashful manner in the corner.  This dethly stillness made me oneasy, and I determined to talk to the female or bust.  So sez I, "marrige is agin your rules, I bleeve, marm?" "Yay." "The sexes liv strickly apart, I spect?" "Yay."