I said, "not at all, Marm.  Not on no account.  I have heard the boatswain pipe to quarters--but a voice in my heart didn't whisper Seu-zan!  I've belayed the marlin-spikes on the upper jibpoop, but Seu-zan's eye wasn't on me, much.  Young woman, I am not you're Saler boy.  Far different." "Oh yes, you are!" she howled, seizin me round the neck.  "Oh, how I've lookt forwards to this meetin!" "And you'll presently," I said, "have a opportunity of lookin backwards to it, because I'm on the point of leavin this institution." I will here observe that I come of a very clever family.  A very clever fam'ly, indeed. "Where," I cried, as I struggled in vain to release myself from the eccentric female's claws, "where is the Capting--the man who was into the Crimea, amidst the cannon's thunder?  I want him." He came forward, and cried, "What do I see?  Me Sister! me sweet Adulaide! and in teers!  Willin!" he screamed, "and you're the serpent I took to my boosum, and borrowed money of, and went round with, and was cheerful with, are you?--You ought to be ashamed of yourself." Somehow my coat was jerked off, the brest-pocket of which contained my pocket-book, and it parsed away like the brest pin.  Then they sorter quietly hustled me into the street. It was about 12 at night when I reached the Green Lion. "Ha! ha! you sly old rascal, you've been up to larks!" said the lan'lord, larfin loudly, and digging his fist into my ribs. I said, "Bigsby, if you do that agin, I shall hit you!  Much as I respect you and your excellent faml'y, I shall disfiger your beneverlent countenance for life!" "What has ruffled your spirits, friend?" said the lan'lord. "My spirits has been ruffled," I ansered in a bittur voice, "by a viper who was into the Crimea.  What good was it," I cried, "for Sebastopol to fall down without enwelopin in its ruins that viper?" I then went to bed.  I come of a very clever fam'ly. Artemus Ward.       _______________ VI. THE TOWER OF LONDON. MR. PUNCH, My dear Sir,--I skurcely need inform you that your excellent Tower is very pop'lar with peple from the agricultooral districks, and it was chiefly them class which I found waitin at the gates the other mornin. I saw at once that the Tower was established on a firm basis.  In the entire history of firm basisis I don't find a basis more firmer than this one. "You have no Tower in America?" said a man in the crowd, who had somehow detected my denomination. "Alars! no," I ansered; "we boste of our enterprise and improvements, and yit we are devoid of a Tower.  America, oh my onhappy country! thou hast not got no Tower!  It's a sweet Boon." The gates was opened after awhile, and we all purchist tickets and went into a waitin-room. "My frens," said a pale-faced little man, in black close, "this is a sad day." "Inasmuch as to how?" I said. "I mean it is sad to think that so many peple have been killed within these gloomy walls.  My frens, let us drop a tear!"