The Complete Works of Artemus Ward (HTML edition)Ward, Artemus
General
The Complete Works of Artemus Ward (HTML edition)
Ward, Artemus
American wit and humor
*(Here Artemus would leave the rostrum for a few moments, and pretend to
be engaged behind. The picture was painted for a night-scene, and the
effect intended to be produced was that of the moon rising over the lake
and rippling on the waters. It was produced in the usual dioramic way,
by making the track of the moon transparent and throwing the moon on
from the bull's eye of the lantern. When Artemus went behind, the moon
would become nervous and flickering, dancing up and down in the most
inartistic and undecided manner. The result was that, coupled with the
lecturer's oddly expressed apology, the "moon" became one of the best
laughed-at parts of the entertainment.)
I shall be most happy to pay a good salary to any respectable boy of
good parentage and education who is a good moonist.
The Endowment House.
In this building the Mormon is initiated into the mysteries of the
faith.
Strange stories are told of the proceedings which are held in this
building--but I have no possible means of knowing how true they may be.
Salt Lake City is fifty-five miles behind us--and this is Echo
Canyon--in reaching which we are supposed to have crossed the summit
of the Wahsatch Mountains. These ochre-colored bluffs--formed of
conglomerate sandstone--and full of fossils--signal the entrance to the
Canyon. At its base lies Weber Station.
Echo Canyon is about twenty-five miles long. It is really the sublimest
thing between the Missouri and the Sierra Nevada. The red wall to
the left develops farther up the Canyon into pyramids--buttresses--and
castles--honey-combed and fretted in nature's own massive magnificence
of architecture.
In 1856--Echo Canyon was the place selected by Brigham Young for the
Mormon General Wells to fortify and make impregnable against the advance
of the American army--led by General Albert Sidney Johnson. It was to
have been the Thermopylae of Mormondom--but it wasn't. General Wells was
to have done Leonidas--but he didn't.
A more cheerful view of the Desert.
The wild snowstorms have left us--and we have thrown our wolf-skin
overcoats aside. Certain tribes of far-western Indians bury their
distinguished dead by placing them high in air and covering them with
valuable furs--that is a very fair representation of these mid-air
tombs. Those animals are horses--I know they are--because my artist
says so. I had the picture two years before I discovered the fact.--The
artist came to me about six months ago--and said--"It is useless to
disguise it from you any longer--they are horses."
It was while crossing this desert that I was surrounded by a band of
Ute Indians. They were splendidly mounted--they were dressed in
beaver-skins--and they were armed with rifles--knives--and pistols.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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