Sez I, "not mutch we wont," and I made a powerful effort to get awa from her.  "This is plade out," I sed, whereupon she jerkt me back into the seet.  "Leggo my coat, you scandaluss female," I roared, when she set up the most unarthly yellin and hollerin you ever heerd.  The passinjers & the gentlemunly konducter rusht to the spot, & I don't think I ever experiunsed sich a rumpus in the hull coarse of my natral dase.  The man in black close rusht up to me & sed "How dair yu insult my neece, you horey heded vagabone.  You base exhibbiter of low wax figgers--yu woolf in sheep's close," & sow 4th. I was konfoozed.  I was a loonytick fur the time bein, and offered 5 dollars reward to enny gentleman of good morrul carracter who wood tell me whot my name was & what town I livd into.  The konducter kum to me & sed the insultid parties wood settle for 50 dollars, which I immejitly hawled out, & agane implored sumbuddy to state whare I was prinsipully, & if I shood be thare a grate while my self ef things went on as they'd bin goin fur sum time back.  I then axed if there was enny more Octoroons present, "becawz," sez I, "ef there is, let um cum along, fur Ime in the Octoroon bizniss."  I then threw my specterculs out of the winder, smasht my hat wildly down over my Ise, larfed highsterically & fell under a seet.  I lay there sum time & fell asleep.  I dreamt Mrs. Ward & the twins had bin carried orf by Ryenosserhosses & that Baldinsville had bin captered by a army of Octoroons.  When I awoked the lamps was a burnin dimly.  Sum of the passinjers was a snorein like pawpusses & the little damsell in the pinc gown was a singin "Oft in the Silly nite."  The onprinsipuld Octoroon & the miserbul man in black close was gone, & all of a suddent it flasht ore my brane that I'de bin swindild. ____________________ OBERLIN. About two years ago I arrove in Oberlin, Ohio.  Oberlin is whare the celebrated college is.  In fack, Oberlin IS the college, everything else in that air vicinity resolvin around excloosivly for the benefit of that institution.  It is a very good college, too, & a grate many wurthy yung men go there annooally to git intelleck into 'em.  But its my onbiassed 'pinion that they go it rather too strong on Ethiopians at Oberlin.  But that's nun of my bisniss.  I'm into the Show bizness.  Yit as a faithful historan I must menshun the fack that on rainy dase white peple can't find their way threw the streets without the gas is lit, there bein such a numerosity of cullerd pussons in the town. As I was sayin, I arroved at Oberlin, and called on Perfesser Peck for the purpuss of skewerin Kolonial Hall to exhibit my wax works and beests of Pray into.  Kolonial Hall is in the college and is used by the stujents to speak peaces and read essays into. Sez Perfesser Peck, "Mister Ward, I don't know 'bout this bizniss.  What are your sentiments?" Sez I, "I hain't got any."