___________ I was fixin myself up to attend the great war meetin', when my daughter entered with a young man who was evijently from the city, and who wore long hair, and had a wild expression into his eye.  In one hand he carried a port-folio, and his other paw claspt a bunch of small brushes.  My daughter introduced him as MR. SWEIBIER, the distinguished landscape painter from Philadelphy. "He is a artist, papa.  Here is one of his master-pieces--a young mother gazin' admirin'ly upon her first-born," and my daughter showed me a really pretty picter, done in ile.  "Is it not beautiful, papa?  He throws so much soul into his work." "Does he? does he?" said I--"well, I reckon I'd better hire him to whitewash our fence.  It needs it.  What will you charge, sir," I continued, "to throw some soul into my fence?" My daughter went out of the room in very short meeter, takin' the artist with her, and from the emphatical manner in which the door slam'd, I concluded she was summat disgusted at my remarks.  She closed the door, I may say, in italics.  I went into the closet and larfed all alone by myself for over half an hour.  I larfed so vi'lently that the preserve jars rattled like a cavalry offisser's sword and things, which it aroused my BETSY, who came and opened the door pretty suddent.  She seized me by the few lonely hairs that still linger sadly upon my bare-footed hed, and dragged me out of the closet, incidentally obsarving that she didn't exactly see why she should be compelled, at her advanced stage of life, to open a assylum for sooperanooated idiots. My wife is one of the best wimin on this continent, altho' she isn't always gentle as a lamb, with mint sauce.  No, not always. But to return to the war meetin'.  It was largely attended.  The Editor of the Bugle arose and got up and said the fact could no longer be disguised that we were involved in a war.  "Human gore," said he, "is flowin'.  All able-bodied men should seize a musket and march to the tented field.  I repeat it sir, to the tented field." A voice--"Why don't you go yourself, you old blowhard?" "I am identified, young man, with a Arkymedian leaver which moves the world," said the Editor, wiping his auburn brow with his left coat-tail; "I allude, young man, to the press: Terms, two dollars a year, invariably in advance.  Job printing executed with neatness and dispatch!"  And with this brilliant bust of elekance the Editor introduced Mr. J. Brutus Hinkins, who is suffering from an attack of College in a naberin' place.  Mr. Hinkins said Washington was not safe.  Who can save our national capeetle? "DAN SETCHELL," I said.  "He can do it afternoons.  Let him plant his light and airy form onto the Long Bridge, make faces at the hirelin' foe, and they'll skedaddle!  Old SETCH can do it."