[Portions of this header are copyright (C) 2001 by Michael Hart] This etext was produced by anonymous Project Gutenberg Volunteers The Project Gutenberg Etext of The Complete Works of Artemus Ward (Charles Farrar Browne) Part 3 THE COMPLETE WORKS OF ARTEMUS WARD, PART 3, STORIES AND ROMANCES (CHARLES FARRAR BROWNE) With a biographical sketch by Melville D. Landon, "Eli Perkins" CONTENTS. PART III. Stories and Romances. 3.1. Moses the Sassy; or, The Disguised Duke. 3.2. Marion: A Romance of the French School. 3.3. William Barker, the Young Patriot. 3.4. A Romance--The Conscript. 3.5. A Romance--Only a Mechanic. 3.6. Roberto the Rover; A Tale of Sea and Shore. 3.7. Red Hand: A Tale of Revenge. 3.8. Pyrotechny: A Romance after the French. 3.9. The Last of the Culkinses. 3.10. A Mormon Romance--Reginald Gloverson. PART III. STORIES AND ROMANCES. 3.1. MOSES THE SASSY; OR, THE DISGUISED DUKE. CHAPTER I.--ELIZY. My story opens in the classic presinks of Bostin. In the parler of a bloated aristocratic mansion on Bacon street sits a luvly young lady, whose hair is cuvered ore with the frosts of between 17 Summers. She has just sot down to the piany, and is warblin the popler ballad called "Smells of the Notion," in which she tells how, with pensiv thought, she wandered by a C beat shore. The son is settin in its horizon, and its gorjus light pores in a golden meller flud through the winders, and makes the young lady twict as beautiful nor what she was before, which is onnecessary. She is magnificently dressed up in a Berage basque, with poplin trimmins, More Antique, Ball Morals and 3 ply carpeting. Also, considerable gauze. Her dress contains 16 flounders and her shoes is red morocker, with gold spangles onto them. Presently she jumps up with a wild snort, and pressin her hands to her brow, she exclaims: "Methinks I see a voice!" A noble youth of 27 summers enters. He is attired in a red shirt and black trowsis, which last air turned up over his boots; his hat, which it is a plug, being cockt onto one side of his classical hed. In sooth, he was a heroic lookin person, with a fine shape. Grease, in its barmiest days, near projuced a more hefty cavileer. Gazin upon him admiringly for a spell, Elizy (for that was her name) organized herself into a tabloo, and stated as follers. "Ha! do me eyes deceive me earsight? Is it some dreams? No, I reckon not! That frame! them store close! those nose! Yes, it is me own, me only Moses!" He (Moses) folded her to his hart, with the remark that he was "a hunkey boy." CHAPTER II.--WAS MOSES Of NOBLE BIRTH?