"Yes," said I, larfin in a respectful manner, "but what has this man with the umbreller to do with the man who took his wife's coffin out of the back winder?" "To be sure," said Abe--"what was it? I must have got two stories mixed together, which puts me in mind of another lit--" "Never mind, Your Excellency. I called to congratulate you on your career, which has been a honest and a good one--unscared and unmoved by Secesh in front of you and Abbolish at the back of you--each one of which is a little wuss than the other if possible! "Tell E. Stanton that his boldness, honesty, and vigger merits all praise, but to keep his under-garments on. E. Stanton has appeerently only one weakness, which it is, he can't allus keep his under-garments from flyin up over his hed. I mean that he occasionally dances in a peck-measure, and he don't look graceful at it." I took my departer. "Good-bye, old sweetness!" sed Abe, shakin me cordgully by the hand. "Adoo, my Prahayrie flower!" I replied, and made my exit. "Twenty-five thousand dollars a year and found," I soliloquized, as I walked down the street, "is putty good wages for a man with a modist appytite, but I reckon that it is wuth it to run the White House." "What you bowt, sah? What the debble you doin, sah?" It was the voice of an Afrikin Brother which thus spoke to me. There was a cullud procession before me which was escortin a elderly bald-hedded Afrikin to his home in Bates Alley. This distinguished Afrikin Brother had just returned from Lybery, and in turnin a corner puty suddent I hed stumbled and placed my hed agin his stummick in a rather strengthy manner. "Do you wish to impede the progress of this procession, sah?" "Certainly not, by all means! Procesh!" And they went on. I'm reconstructing my show. I've bo't a collection of life size wax figgers of our prominent Revolutionary forefathers. I bo't 'em at auction, and got 'em cheap. They stand me about two dollars and fifty cents (2 dols. 50 cents) per Revolutionary forefather. Ever as always yours, A. WARD. 7.7. SCENES OUTSIDE THE FAIR GROUNDS. There is some fun outside the Fair Ground. Any number of mountebanks have pitched their tents there, and are exhibiting all sorts of monstrosities to large and enthusiastic audiences. There are some eloquent men among the showmen. Some of them are Demosthenic. We looked around among them during the last day we honored the Fair with our brilliant presence, and were rather pleased at some things we heard and witnessed. The man with the fat woman and the little woman and the little man was there. "'Ere's a show, now," said he, "worth seeing. 'Ere's a entertainment that improves the morals. P.T. Barnum--you've all hearn o' him. What did he say to me? Sez he to me, sez P.T. Barnum, 'Sir, you have the all-firedest best show travelin!'--and all to be seen for the small sum of fifteen cents!"