The lectoor commenced at a few minutes past ate--precisely. The gay and gifted Artemus stepped to his place, and after acknowledging my presence by a polite bow, prooeeded to define the platform on which he stood--Oregon pine. The papers, with thare usuil fidelity to fax, had stated that the entertainment would consist only of a lectoor, & that the kangaroo & wax-figgers would not be introdooced--"dooced queer," thinks I, and I soon discovered the telegram; for Mr. Ward used a number of figgers--of speech. Thare ware also severeil animils thare, thare was, tho I don't know whether they belonged to him, as they was scattered thro the ordgunce, and was boysterous to a degre--yis, two degrese. Some of the funniest of the fundymentall principles of the lectoor escaped me--rather I escaped them--partly owin to the fokes squeeging in at the dore, and partly owin to a pretty but frail gurl wayin all the way from 200 up to 250 lbs. avoirdoopois, which sot herself rite onto my lap. Mr Ward statid that he would not give a fillosoffical lectoor--nor an astronomical lectoor--nor--did he say what kind of lectoor he would give. The subjec was, however, the "Babes in the Wood." He has had the Babes in the Wood sum time. Mr. Ward is not rich--but is doin-- as well as could be expected. It is one of the lectoors you read about, you know--here. Yis, I sa it's a great moril lectoor; I sa it boldly, because I've heerd--of it. The structoor of the lectoor was as they sa in architectoor of the compost like ordoor; first a stratter of this, then a stratter of that; that is to sa--kinder mixed, you know. It was on the aneckdotale plan, and speakin of aneckdotes reminds me of a little story--it is wun of Mr Ward's, by the way; it will bare repitition-- it lass, so far, stood it very well. It is of a young made, hoose name it was Mehitabull--some of it, at least--enuff--for the present porpussus--and of a nobil and galyunt lovyier, which his naim it was John Jones. This young man was a patrut, tho oppoged to coershun. The enrolin officer going his rounds was beheld by this young man wile yit he was afar off, the site was not a welcum wun to John, and it propelled him to seek proteekshun of his plited wun, in hoose hous he was at that critical moment. Time was preshus. What was too be dun? The enemy was now neer at hand. "Git under my hoops," sez Mehitabull. The heroick youth obade. After a pause the offisser hentered the manshun. "Is thare any men in this 'ere hous?" sez he. "Not as I nose--on," replied the damsell. "Then," sez the offisser, "I gess I'll stop awhile myself." He stopped a our. After witch he stopped anuther our; after witch he continuood to stop. During this time John Jones was garspin for breath. At last he felt he cood endoor it no longer, without--ingoory to his helth. He put his hed out of his strong hold and sed to the amazed offisser, "I think the draft will doo me good--I mean the draft of are."