They are az handy in a tree top az a yung munkey, but are not pizon tew bight. They hav a festive way ov choking things tew death by making a cravat ov themselfs around the thruts ov their victims. I hav herd ov wicked children being killed in this way, but never knu a boy who tended Sunday skool regular, and who want sassy tew hiz grandfather, and who didn’t eat enny green apples, and hav the stummuk ake in consequents, to get choked bi a blak snaix. Wicked little boys, who pla marbles on Sunday, and who say “_Go up, old bald hed_,” and who put kittens into tar barrels will make a note ov this. The blak snaix iz about 5 feet in length, and sumtimes haz a white ring around hiz nek. There iz very little poetry in snaix ov enny kind, untill they git their heds smashed, and here iz just whare the poetry comes in. There ain’t much poetry in me, but if I waz called upon tew write an obituary notiss for the whole race ov snaix, who lay dead in one pile, i would take oph mi coat, rool up mi sleeves, and saliva mi hands, and rite sum verses that i wouldn’t be ashamed ov enny how, for i should expekt the solemnity ov the ockashun would help me out ov the skrape. THE MILK SNAIK. The milk snaix hangs around pasture lots, and iz said tew fasten onto the udders ov the cows, and git hiz milk puntch in this underhand way. I don’t beleave this, but in writing the biography ov snaix no man iz obliged tew tell the whole truth about them enny how. Fish and snaix are two things that authors are apt tew consider the fackts ov when they write onto them. I never knu a man yet, not even of fust rate judgment, if he should ketch a fish that weighed 4 pounds but would guess he weighed 6, and if he should kill a snaix that was 5 feet, and three inches long, would want tew sware he waz 14 foot long, without taking the krooks out ov him. This iz human natur, and human natur is heavy on a marvel. The Bible sez, “_marvel not_,” and altho i look upon all things in the Bible with the utmost venerashun, I hav wondered if Joner’s ketching the whale just az he did, wasn’t some kind ov authority for the fish storys ov the present daze. If a man in theze times should ketch a whale az Joner did, he would write an ackount ov it, and travel around the kuntry and lektur onto it, and when he deskribed the size ov that whale, if a man wan’t smart in figgures, he would git a poor idea of the animile’s dimenshuns. I never have saw a milk snaix yet, and if i phool mi _life_ away, and don’t never see one, I don’t intend tew mourn inkonsolably about it. I hav alreddy seen all the snaix I want to, and wouldn’t go a haff a mile from here to see all the snaix on the buzzum ov the earth unless thare waz a bonfire ov them. Snaix ov all kinds hav got but one destiny tew fill, and Divine Providence haz fixt that; it is tew git their heds squeezed by a suitable sized pebble. THE RACCOON, AND THE PETTYFOGGER.