Thare iz a grate deal ov humin natur in a stik of mollassis kandy, I judge this, bekauze mi little grandson iz alwus reddy tew invest hiz only penny in it. I don’t kno az i want tew bet enny money, and giv odds, on the man, who iz alwus anxious tew pray out loud, every chance he kan git. Praze and abuse, are both good in their place, but if I kan’t hav but one, give me the abuse. [Illustration: MOLLASSIS KANDY.] Nine men, out ov every 10, that yu meet in New York City, are in a grate hurry, and are either mad, petulant, or sassy, and the reazon iz they are all ov them in pursuit ov munny, and only one out ov 10 gits it. Next tew the man who iz wuth a millyun, in point ov wealth, iz the man, who don’t kare a kuss for it. A reputashun for happiness needs az mutch watching az a reputashun for honesty. When yu strike ile, stop boring, menny a man has bored klean thru, and let all the ile run out at the bottom. I hav spent a large porshun ov mi life in hopeing, and praying that every boddy mite be suckcessful, and happy, and i intend tew spend a grate deal more time in the same bizzness, but i am satisfied that the philosophy ov the whole thing iz kontained in this passage, “_the devil take the hindmost_.” Success don’t konsist in never making blunders, but in never making the same one the seckond time. He who trusts tew luck for his happiness, will be lucky when he gits it. While we are poor, the necessarys ov life are the luxurys, after we git ritch, the luxurys are the necessarys. Thare is no such thing az gitting tew the top ov the ladder in this world, if we reach the utmost round, then we mourn bekauze the ladder aint longer. Death iz an arrow, shot into a crowd, the only reazon whi it hit another, iz bekauze it missed us. When a man duz a good turn, just for the phun ov the thing, he haz got a grate deal more virtew in him, than he iz aware ov. The man who haz got a mote in hiz eye, kan alwus see a big beam in hiz brothers. Az a genral thing, we envy in others, not what we aint got, but what we hav got less than others. The only thing about a man that sin haz not, and kan not pervert, iz hiz conshience. Dissatisfackshun with everything we cum akrost iz the result ov being dissatisfied with ourselfs. Just edzakly in proporshun that a man undertakes tew make a reputashun bi hiz personal appearance, just in that proporshun, he iz a dead beat. Early genius iz like early cabbage, don’t head well. It iz a grate deal more eazier tew drop down 10 feet on a ladder, than it iz tew highst up 5; i found this out more than 7 years ago. Menny a man haz lost a good posishun in this world, bi letting go, tew spit on hiz hands. Go up hill as fast az you pleaze, but go down hill slo. About all that iz left for an old man in this world, iz an obituary notiss. Sedate yung men make imbecile old ones. I think yung coxcombs, end their lives, az old slovens.