I suppoze that one reazon whi the “road to ruin” iz broad, iz tew accomadate the grate amount ov travel in that direkshun. I think i had rather hear a man brag about himself, than tew hear him brag all the time ov sum one else--for i think i like vanity a leetle better than i do sickofansy. A humbug iz like a bladder, good for nothing till it iz blowed up, and then ain’t good for nothing after it iz pricked. A bigg noze iz sed tew be a sighn ov genius--if a man’s genius lays in hiz noze, i should say the sign waz a good one. Vanity iz seldom malishous. A woman (like an echo), will hav the last word. Put an Englishman into the garden of Eden, and he would find fault with the whole blassted consarn--put a Yankee in, and he would see whare he could alter it to advantage--put an Irishman in, and he would want tew boss the thing--put a Dutchman in, and he would proceed at once to plant it. When a man is squandering hiz estate, even those who are getting it, call him a phool. Men mourn for what they hav lost--wimmin, for what they hain’t got. I judge ov a man’s virtew entirely bi his phashions--it iz a grate deal eazier tew be a good dove, than a decent sarpent. Thare are menny ways to find out how brave and how honest a man may be, but thare aint no way to find out the extent ov hiz vanity. A lie iz like a cat, it never cums to yu in a straight line. Natur iz a kind mother. She couldn’t well afford to make us perfekt, and so she made us blind to our failings. Studdy the heart if yu want to learn human natur; there ain’t no human natur in a man’s head. Friendship iz simply the gallantry of self interest. Beware ov the man with half-shut eyes--he ain’t dreaming. Experience makes more timid men than it duz wise ones. Advice iz a drug in the market; the supply alwus exceeds the demand. One ov the safest and most successful tallents I kno ov iz to be a good listener. Fools are the whet-stones ov society. Better make a weak man your enemy than your friend. Curiosity iz the instinct ov wisdum. Thoze who becum disgusted, and withdraw from the world, musn’t forgit one thing, that the world will forgit them, a long time before they will forgit the world. Put man down (for me) az a vain and selfish critter, all hiz talk and ackshuns to the contrary, notwithstanding, nevertheless, to wit, verily, amen. Wize men laff every good chance they kan git. Laffing is only a weakness in phools. I giv the world credit for a grate deal more honesty than it can show. Whenever i find a real handsum woman engaged in the “wimmins’ rights bizzness,” then i am going to take mi hat under mi arm and jine the procession. Gratitude iz a debt, and like all other debts is paid bekauze we are obliged to, not bekauze we love to. Praize that ain’t deserved iz no better than slander. There iz three kinds of phools in this world, the natural ones, the common, every day phool, and the daghm phool. MOLLASSIS KANDY.